New York Yankees Jokes That Will Laugh Your Heads Off

The New York Yankees are an iconic American baseball team that has delighted its fans for over a century. 

Did you know that they have won 27 World Series Championships which is a lot! But apart from the sport side of things, the New York Yankees have been a great topic to some of the funniest jokes! 

Enjoy these best New York Yankee jokes. You’ll surely enjoy this as much as we did! 

Funny Yankees Jokes

• Which baseball team does Pee Wee Herman like?
  • The Yankees.
• Do dirt and the New York Yankees have anything in common?
  • Nothing. They both always get swept.
• What song do fans of the New York Yankees sing before the bottom of the ninth inning?
  • Nobody knows. There’s never any of them left.
• Is there a difference between a Yankees fan and a baby?
  • The baby will stop whining after a while.
• What is the number of Yankees fans necessary to change a lightbulb?
  • None. They’ll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.
• How are Yankee zoos and Southern zoos different?
  • The Yankee zoo will have the name of the animal and its Latin name.
  • The Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

• What is the difference between a hotdog from Yankee stadium and one from Fenway park?
  • You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October
• What is the difference between a Yankee and a Native American?
  • If you stick a feather in a Yankee’s hat, you have to call it macaroni.

• What was the purpose of the police officer going to Yankee Stadium?
  • Someone stole second base!
• What superhero did the Yankees attempt to sign as their designated hitter?
  • Batman.
• What causes the Yankees to lose so many day games?
  • Their bats only wake up at night.
• Which pitcher would make the best Yankees relief pitcher?
  • The mummy – because he knows how to wrap up.
• What are people from Alabama called if people from Texas are called Texans and New Yorkers are called Yankees?
  • Inbreds.
• What is the significance of Aroldis Chapman joining the Yankees?
  • Because pitchers don’t hit in the American League!

• Did you hear that the Yankees will not be able to sell bottled beer at Yankee Stadium this year?
  • They lost their opener.

• How many Yankees are needed to change a tire?
  • One, unless it’s a blowout, in which case they all show up.
• What do Yankees fans use as a birth control method?
  • Their personalities.

Related: Chicago Bears Jokes, FIFA Jokes, Super Bowl Jokes

Humorous Yankee Short Stories

• In NYC, a black guy asked me if the Yankees won.
  • I replied, “Yeah, man, you’re free.”

• New York Yankees officially sign Adrian Peterson.
  • They needed a good switch hitter.

• Their 27th World Series title has been won by the Yankees.
  • It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bunch of free agents!
• “Southern White House”
  • sounds like something a Yankee carpetbagger from New York City would say in order to relate to the common folk.
• A black man saw me walking through the Bronx and asked, “Hey man, did the Yankees win?”
  • I said, “Yes, Of course. The South is still fighting over confederate statues though.”

• It’s strange how the Red Sox went so long without winning the World Series after selling Babe Ruth to the Yankees.
  • You’d think they’d have been more ruthless.

• The Yankees spent $100 million luring C.C. Sabathia to New York.
  • That was just for lunch.
• The Yankees haven’t set their free agent budget yet.
  • They’re still lobbying the U.S. Treasury to print more money.
• Women sitting in the stands were hit on by Alex Rodriguez.
  • The Yankees wondered if he’d ever hit on a baseball again!
• “Local milk people”
  • sounds like something a Yankee carpetbagger would say in order to relate to the common folk.
• You wish your team had the money to spend like the Yankees. 
  • You’re too proud and too delusional to admit it.  But you know it’s true.
• On his birthday, Rudy Giuliani got booed at Yankee Stadium.
  • That’s more inspiring than the movie “Rudy.”
• When you meet your Yankee-hating friend, cheerfully tell him:
  • “You know what I’m dying to hear?  I want to hear some A-Rod jokes!  Those never get old!  C’mon!  What you got for me?  Let’s hear it!”

• Rays fans, Red Sox fans, and Yankees fans are climbing a mountain and arguing about which team they love the most.
  • The Rays fan insists that he is most loyan and then yells, “this if for Tampa Bay!”
  • And jumps off the mountain.
  • Not to be out done, the Red Sox fan next professes his love for his team.
  • He screams, “This if for Boston!” and pushes the Yankee fan off the mountain. 

Don’t forget to share these at your next baseball game or party that you attend. Your friends will surely laugh their heads off. 

You won’t want to miss these Top 5 Yankees moments from 2020.