Drive Your Friends Crazy With These Funny Car Jokes

Ever get bored in your car? Well, this list of 35 funny car jokes is sure to make you laugh. From hilarious puns to witty observations, these jokes will keep you entertained for hours!

So sit back and enjoy the ride with these great jokes about cars.

Car Jokes: Quiz Time

  • The car’s oil went to the doctor for what reason?
    • It was feeling a bit “unwell”!
  • When a car is afraid of the dark, what do you call it?
    • Headlightsensitive!
  • What is the best way to make a tissue dance?
    • You put a little “boogie” in it, just like a car on a bumpy road!
  • What caused the car’s tires to break up?
    • Because they couldn’t find any common ground!
  • Can you tell me what type of music a car likes to listen to?
    • “Heavy metal”!
  • Is there a reason why cars never become teachers?
    • Because they always “drive” their students crazy!
  • When dinosaurs crash their cars, what do you get?
    • Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
  • What could possibly be worse than raining cats and dogs?
    • Hailing taxis!
  • In what situations is a car no longer a car?
    • When it turns into a driveway.
  • Do you know how to double the value of a Yugo?
    • Fill it with gas.
  • What is the best place to park dogs’ cars?
    • In the barking lot.
  • What’s the difference between a Porsche and a cactus?
    • The prick on the cactus is on the outside.
  • What kind of cars do chefs drive?
    • Chef-rolets.
  • What is the favorite car of a musician?
    • Honda-A-Chord
  • When cars turn 13 years old, what happens to them?
    • They have a car-mitzvah.
  • What’s four flies and wheels?
    • A garbage Truck.
  • Which part of the car is the laziest?
    • Wheels, because they are always tired.
  • I wonder what happened to the frog who parked on the double yellow line?
    • His car got toad.
  • What kinds of snakes can be found on cars?
    • Windshield vipers.
  • Do you know what kind of car Yoda drives?
    • A toyoda.
  • What kind of car does an egg drive?
    • A Yolks-wagen.
  • What is the difference between a golf ball and a Chevy?
    • You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
  • How come chicken coops only have two doors?
    • They would be chicken sedans if they had four.
  • During a car crash, what are you obligated to take care of?
    • The witnesses.
  • What’s the difference between a Ferrari and six garbage bag full of recyclable cans?
    • I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
  • What do you call a Ford Fiesta that has run out of gas?
    • A Ford Siesta.
  • How do turkeys drive a car?
    • He wings it.
  • What makes cars not work properly when you change wheels?
    • Because they’re retired.

Car Puns You’ll Laugh At

  • My goal was to find a hitchhiker.
    • Turns out he’s just saying he approves of my driving..
  • It never fails that my sweetheart goes too far when it comes to health food crazes.
    • Now, it’s even affecting my driving.
    • She took the carb-orator off my car!
  • Husband: “Honey, the neighbor is again washing the car with his son!”
    • Wife: “That poor little boy! Go over there and tell him to use a sponge instead.”
  • My sister told me you can’t make a car out of spaghetti,
    • you ought to have seen her face when I drove pasta.
  • Chasing a car will definitely make you tired,
    • but you’ll get exhausted if you chase cars.
  • When I reversed my car in the garage, I asked my son to spot me and tell me when I hit the wall.
    • Then I heard a bang.
    • “3:45 PM”, he said.
  • The road less traveled is what I chose,
    • now where the heck am I?
  • I had a nightmare that someone hit me with a car muffler last night.
    • I awoke exhausted.
  • Driving a DeLorean would probably be a once-in-a-while experience.
  • I’d like to park my dead car in the garage.
    • Too bad there’s not enough vroom.
  • Get a job at a transmission repair shop.
    • You’ll get used to the early-morning shifts.

The Great Car Challenge

Author’s Note

Did these 35 funny car jokes lighten your day? I’m sure, It’s a YES! 

These car jokes are sure to drive home some laughter, whether you’re a car enthusiast or just enjoy a good automotive pun. Share them with friends and fellow drivers to put a smile in the fast lane!

Our goal is to make your day brighter! Check out some of our funniest jokes.

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