Laugh Your Heart Out With These Silly Texas Jokes

Texas is a large state, and it is known for having a unique culture. Texas is also known for having a sense of humor that is unlike many other states. 

There is a strong cultural connection between Texas and laughter. We all know that laughter is the best medicine and there is no better place to get that laughter than in the great state of Texas. Here is a list of silly Texas jokes to help you enjoy a good chuckle.

Funny Texas Jokes

  • When you say you’re in Texas, how do you know?
    • When the menu has a “chicken-fried everything” section.
  • What was the reason for the cowboy’s nap on the bull?
    • Because he wanted to get a little “siesta” rodeo action!
  • Can you tell me what kind of math Texans enjoy most?
    • Cow-culus.
  • The chili pepper went to the doctor in Texas for what reason?
    • Because it was a little chili.
  • What do you call a Texan without cattle?
    • An “exasperated” Texan!

How do you get a Texan to smile for a picture? Just say, “Barbecue!”

What made the Texas cowboy bring a dachshund to the rodeo? Because he wanted to win the “wiener takes all”!

  • Is there a difference between a University of Houston sorority sister and a scarecrow? 
    • One lives in a field and is stuffed with hay. The other frightens birds and small animals. 
  • In Austin, what is the only thing that grows?
    • The Crime Rate! 
  • In Arlington, what is the only thing that grows?
    • The swelling from your head from getting jacked! 
  • Why do University of Houston graduates keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
    • So they can park in handicap spaces.
  • How does a Texas energy company differ from a Dumpster Fire?
    • A Dumpster Fire creates affordable light and heat.
  • How come Texas women make sandwiches with their left hands?
    • Because they have no rights.
  • Why does Texas not have U-Haul trucks?
    • Because they have Yee-Haw trucks instead.
  • Why does Texas not float away into the Gulf of Mexico?
    • Oklahoma sucks.

Hilarious Texas Puns and Stories

  • I’m sending prayers and thoughts to Texas right now.
    • With so many lifted trucks in one state, you’d think everyone would be used to something white and 4 inches. 
  • The weather in Texas.
    • This is ADHD at its most natural. 
  • The amount of $1,000,000 Trump borrows from his dad is a small amount.
    • However, when he donates that much money to Texas, it’s a huge contribution.
  • Sheriffs in Texas found a black man who had been shot 12 times.
    • He said it was the worst suicide he had ever seen.
  • Have you heard about the new law that passed?
    • It is illegal to be buried in Texas if you live in Oklahoma. Once you die, you can do it legally.
  • Dallas my love has come along.
  • Ready for a San Antoni-bros weekend?
  • El Paso the dutchie on the left-hand side.
  • I’m wide a-Waco.
  • This state is Texa-llent.
  • Mustang Island,
    • think you better slow your mustang down.
  • I’d like a salad with a side of Cadillac Ranch.
  • Another great Texas vacation. I’ve got Deja brew.
  • Dallas-t thing I want right now is to leave Texas.
  • Texas: Hey Fall, you coming. 
    • Fall: Yeah, me and Winter about to pull up right now. 

Wacky Texas One-Liners

  • After you miss one exit in Texas,
    • you find yourself in Africa.
  • The state of Texas is so big,
    • it’s easy to forget there are 49 others. 
  • TIL Texas is known as the Lone Star State
    • because it was the minimum allowed in a five-star system.
  • Nobody owns a shovel in Texas,
    • so locals shoot at the snow. 
  • Texas shut down more quickly during 26-degree weather than during a global pandemic. 
  • When you have your own state pledge,
    • you’re a Texan. 
  • We salt margaritas in Texas,
    • not sidewalks.
  • In Texas, when it snows for just twenty seconds,
    • the whole state shuts down
  • I grew up in east Texas or as I call it,
    • “True Life: Breaking Bad”.
  • When it comes to being gay in Texas,
    • it’s like being fat at gymnastics.
  • After hearing Texas congressmen talk about “seceding,”
    • I realized they couldn’t even spell it.
  • I love country music,
    • but only because I know I could hook up with Kenny Chesney.
  • I was asked if it was a cold or a warm 70°,
    • and that’s the most Texan thing I’ve ever heard. 
  • Texan talks to bugs before killing them:
    • “You landed in the wrong house today, buddy”. 
  • As long as my hair looks good, I can deal with anything.
    • Except for mosquitoes in Texas.
  • Texas residents setting their thermostat to the 78 degrees recommended by…
  • There are 99 problems in America, and most of them are in California…
    • Love Texas.
  • In Texas,
    • people drive themselves to court for driving without a license.
  • You know you’re a Texan when you look at other stats and…
    • wonder why no one has a truck.

Texas Quotes

  • “The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. I think you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world.”
    • – Idina Menzel
  • “Texas is the finest portion of the globe that has blessed my vision.”
    • – Sam Houston
  • “In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans.”
    • – Kelly Clarkson

The Lone Star State Quiz

Author’s Note

Let’s explore the unique sense of humor that Texans have as well as some funny jokes that were told at the time of the state’s founding. Did we miss any funny Texas jokes? Share it with us in the comment section below!

These Texas jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. We have plenty of funny jokes for everyone to enjoy here at Funny Jokes Today! Perhaps Miami jokes will pique your interest, or if you’re looking for something different, you can check out Spring jokes or Tuesday jokes.

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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