Autumn Jokes, Quotes, and One-Liners That Will Leaf You Laughing All Day

As the leaves turn brown, the temperature drops, and it gets darker and darker outside, the winter is coming to an end. 

Autumn is just around the corner and in no time the leaves will begin to change colors, the weather will begin to cool down, and the autumn jokes will start to get better. But before you can truly enjoy the season you need to be in the right mood. And how do you get in the right mood? With good jokes, of course! 

Below are the best autumn jokes, quotes and one-liners that will leaf you laughing all day.

Humorous Autumn Jokes

  • Why did one autumn leaf propose to the other?
    • Because they were falling for each other faster than a squirrel chasing acorns downhill!
  • Why did the apple blush furiously?
    • Because it caught a glimpse of the salad dressing, and it thought, “Oh my, this is salad-tation I wasn’t prepared for!”
  • What do you call a mischievous ghost haunting a bakery in the fall?
    • A “soul” muffin that’s just dough-lightful at yeast-rising frights!
  • What’s a skeleton’s most terrifying room during autumn?
    • The bone-chilling bathroom, where the toilet seat is always cold as an ice-age glacier!
  • How do you fix a shattered jack-o’-lantern?
    • You bring in the pumpkin patch surgeon for some gourd-geous reconstructive surgery!
  • Why did the scarecrow excel as a motivational speaker?
    • Because he could turn a field of lazy crops into a bunch of overachieving vegetables, making him the ultimate “cultivator of success”!
  • Can you name something that is red, orange, and yellow and doesn’t get hurt when it falls?
    • Autumn leaves!
  • Why do trees like to try new things every year?
    • Because every autumn they turn over a new leaf!
  • What was the tree saying to autumn?
    • Please leaf me alone!
  • What is the best way to fix a broken pumpkin?
    • With a pumpkin patch!
  • Among the autumn leaves, what did one say to another?
    • I’m falling for you!
  • Do you know what to call a tree who doubts autumn?
    • Disbe-leaf.
  • The least favourite month of the year for trees is?
    • Sep-timber!
  • When winter arrives, what happens?
    • Autumn leaves!
  • Did you hear about the tree who had to take a break in autumn?
    • It was on a paid leaf. 
  • What is the process of trees getting on the internet?
    • They log in!
  • What is the best thing to put in a pumpkin pie?
    • Your teeth of course!
  • Which monster comes out only in the autumn, is red and round, and is round?
    • Frankenapple!
  • When a tree fought autumn, what did it say?
    • That’s it, I’m leaving.
  • What is a scarecrow’s favorite fruit?
    • Straw-berries!
  • A very large pile of leaves is called what?
    • The Great Barrier Leaf!
  • Seasons are cute, but which one is your favorite?
    • Awwwtumn!
  • In the fall, why do all the birds fly south?
    • Because it’s too far to walk!
  • What caused the pumpkin to roll across the road?
    • Because it didn’t have any feet to walk across!
  • When the trees start to re-grow their leaves in spring, what do they say?
    • What a re-leaf!

Fun One-liners About Autumn

  • We can expect falling leaves and rising gas prices this autumn.
    • We’ll be raking it up while the oil companies are raking it in. 
  • The autumn would be a great season if money really grew on trees! 
  • Autumn brings out the blue in blue eyed girls’ eyes. 
  • It’s weird that fall has such a beautiful color, but everything is actually dying.
  • Autumn is the time of year when death is mostly golden and beautiful. 
  • Autumn is like a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

Best Autumn Quotes

  • “Autumn seemed to arrive suddenly that year. The morning of the first September was crisp and golden as an apple.”
    • – J.K. Rowling
  • “Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.”
    • – Emily Brontë
  • “And all the lives we ever lived and all the lives to be are full of trees and changing leaves…”
    • – Virginia Woolf
  • “It’s the first day of autumn! A time of hot chocolatey mornings, and toasty marshmallow evenings, and, best of all, leaping into leaves!”
    • – Winnie The Pooh
  • “Autumn is the second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
    • – Albert Camus
  • “And all at once, summer collapsed into fall.”
    • – Oscar Wilde
  • “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”
    • – Lucy Maude Montgomery
  • “Autumn… the year’s last, loveliest smile.”
    • – William Cullen Bryant
  • “Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all.”
    • – Stanley Horowitz

Funny Knock Knock Jokes About Autumn

  • Knock, Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Iva.
    • Iva who?
    • Iva bunch of leaves that need raking!
  • Knock, Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Orange.
    • Orange who?
    • Orange you glad it’s autumn?
  • Knock, Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Wool.
    • Wool who?
    • Wool you grab me a sweater? It’s getting cold outside!
  • Knock, Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Olive.
    • Olive who?
    • Olive looking at the autumn leaves!

The Great Autumn Personality Quiz

Author’s Note

Autumn is one of the most beautiful seasons of the year. I love the crisp autumn air, the colorful leaves, pumpkin spice lattes, football, autumn quotes, and cozy sweaters. It offers the most colorful foliage around the world. What makes this season even better is the cool breeze that comes with it.  I hope you enjoy these autumn jokes as much as I did.

We have the perfect jokes collection for you! We’ve listed some of them that are guaranteed to make you LOL. 

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