Grandparents Jokes That Never Age

Grandparents, although old, still have a sense of humor. These grandparents jokes prove that their humor is as timeless as their wisdom. 

Whether reminiscing about the old days or mocking their grandchildren, these grandparents prove that only our bodies age.

For more family-friendly humor, you might enjoy our baby jokes, family puns, house jokes, and neighbour jokes.

Funny Grandparents Jokes 

  • When does grandpa go to bed?
    • One hour after falling asleep on his rocking chair.
  • How do people refer to grandfather clocks?
    • The old-timers.
  • When you tell grandpa to change his hearing aid, what does he do?
    • He doesn’t listen.
  • According to grandpa, what is the best thing about being 100 years old?
    • Grandpa said, one get’s to live without peer pressure.
  • Is there a reason why people give a shout-out to their grandpa on their birthdays?
    • Because that is the only way grandpa can hear them.
  • Why do grandparents and grandchildren always seem to be close to each other?
    • They both have a common enemy at the homefront who makes a fuss about eating sweets.
  • When grandma made pasta sauce for dinner guests, why was she in such a hurry?
    • It was already 8pm and she was running out of thyme.
  • What happened when grandma accidentally dropped the basket of ironed laundry?
    • We watched it all unfold.
  • When you have your grandma on speed dial, what do you call it?
    • Instagram. 
  • Is there a reason why dad put wheels on grandpa’s rocking chair?
    • Because grandpa wanted to Rock-n-Roll.
  • When you tell grandpa about online classes, how would he react?
    • He would say, “Why is your education on the line? How will that work?”
  • When grandpa and grandma were married for 60 years, why did he still refer to her as love, honey, darling?
    • Because grandpa had forgotten grandma’s name.
  • What made the grandchild call grandpa a hipster?
    • Because grandma told him, hipsters buy clothes from thrift shops, wear glasses that are thick, and look different.
  • When my grandpa came home, why did he get a man in slim-fit jeans drinking an avocado smoothie?
    • Because he was my grandpa’s hip replacement; just like my grandpa, but hip!
  • When you hear a joke, laugh a lot, and wet your pants, what do you say to a grandpa, his son, and his grandson?
    • It runs in their ‘jeans’.
  • Is there a reason why grandpas always smile?
    • Because they cannot hear anything that you are saying.
  • Before he passed away, what did grandpa say?
    • “How far do you think I can kick the bucket?”
  • What is the place where your grandad jokes are kept?
    • In a ‘grand-dad-a-base’.
  • What is the worst part of being a grandpa?
    • You have to sleep with grandma.
  • What time does your grandpa go to bed?
    • Three hours after she falls asleep on the couch.
  • Is there a reason why grandmas count pennies?
    • They are the only ones who have the time.
  • Can you tell me how grandma got grandpa to stop biting his nails?
    • She hid his dentures.

Hilarious One Liners and Stories About Grandparents

  • During World War II, my grandparents fought.
    • They ended up getting a divorce.
  • I remember my grandmother as being a very tough woman.
    • She buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.
  • According to my grandpa, he was built upside down.
    • He said his nose runs and his feet smell. 
  • My grandmother was a very strong woman.
    • She buried three husbands, two of whom were napping.
  • In the middle of a church service, a grandfather leans over to his wife and whispers, “I just let out a fart. It was silent. What should I do now?”
    • Grandma answers, “You need to change the batteries in your hearing aid.”
  • My grandparents were called Pearl and Dean.
    • Nevertheless, I called them my Grandad and Nana na na na nanana.
  • I am too reliant on technology in the eyes of my grandparents.
    • They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, “no, your generation depends too much on technology.”
    • After that, I unplugged his life support.
  • I find it really awkward that my Grandparents named my Dad’s sister “Vaccine”.
    • When I tell people she’s Auntie Vax, I feel embarrassed.
  • Since I was born late in life, I never met any of my grandparents.
    • No body was suprised about this.
    • It was a four gone conclusion.
  • When my grandpa was 60, he started walking five miles a day.
    • Now he’s 97 years old and we don’t know where he is.
  • My grandparents are from San Juan, Puerto Rico, but the rest of my family is from Europe.
    • I guess that makes me Quarter-Rican.
  • When I go to a wedding, my grandma pokes me and says, ” You’re Next!”
    • So then every time I go to a funeral with her, I poke her and say, ” You’re next.”
  • Grandparents bought a new China set for me.
    • I was asked what I thought of it.
    • I said it was fine.
  • Throughout my childhood, my grandmother always told me that the way to a man’s heart was through his stomach.
    • That’s why she lost her job as a cardiac surgeon.

Best Quotes About Grandparents

  • “Two things I dislike about my granddaughter – when she won’t take her afternoon nap, and when she won’t let me take mine.
    • Gene Perret
  • If God had intended us to follow recipes, he wouldn’t have given us grandmothers.”
    • – Linda Henley
  • “A grandfather is someone you can look up to no matter how tall you grow.”
    • – Unknown
  • “One of the most powerful hand clasps is that of a new grand baby around the finger of a grandfather.”
    • – Joy Hargrove

Watch out for grandparents who are having a lot more fun than you. Here’s the video that proves it. 

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