Octopus Jokes and Puns That Will Stick With You Forever

Octopi are funny creatures and their long tentacles are the prime cause of their reputation. They are extremely popular in the animal kingdom and are one of the most intelligent sea creatures.

I find them to be funny as well. Really funny, so we’ve put together a list of the best octopus jokes, puns and one-liners that will stick to you forever.

Get a laugh out of these sea creatures: Turtle Jokes, Fish Jokes, Shark Jokes

Funny Octopus Jokes and Puns

  • When its friend was feeling down, what did the octopus say?
    • “Don’t be so negative; you have eight arms to hug with!”
  • A joke-telling octopus is called what?
    • Hilarious!
  • What is the best way for octopuses to organize a party?
    • They use their ten-tickling skills to plan the best celebrations!
  • Is there a reason why the octopus became a mathematician?
    • Because it was great at counting its arms!
  • When an octopus is a comedian, what do you call him?
    • A pun-tentacle!
  • Can you tell me what an octopus’ favorite television show is?
    • Anything on “Tentaclevision”!
  • What made the octopus dangerous?
    • He was well armed!
  • What catches flies and has 72 arms?
    • An octopus baseball team.
  • Is there a sea creature that says hello sixteen times?
    • Two octopuses shaking hands.
  • An octopus proposes to its sweetheart in what way?
    • “I would like to ask for your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage.”
  • Is there any benefit to crossing a turkey with an octopus?
    • Everyone would get a drumstick on Thanksgiving.
  • Is there a magic number of tickles that makes an octopus laugh?
    • Ten-tickles!
  • What’s on the toast of the octopus?
    • Ocean current jam!
  • Why did the octopus blush?
    • It was because he had seen the ocean’s bottom!
  • Is there a place where an octopus keeps its money?
    • In its octo-purse!
  • Can you tell if an octopus is alive by looking at it?
    • You check its octo-pulse!
  • When the octopus needs an operation, where does it go?
    • To the sturgeon!
  • Have you heard about the octopus couple?
    • They got cala-married!
  • How much did the vet charge for treating the octopus?
    • Six squid!
  • What is the favorite shape of an octopus?
    • An octagon!
  • Do you know what an octopus musician is called?
    • A rocktopus.
  • What do you call two identical octopuses?
    • I-tentacle.
  • When an octopus has diarrhea, how can you tell?
    • It leaves squid-marks.
  • Can you tell me what kind of keyboard an octopus uses?
    • SQWERTY.
  • What is the best place for octopuses to sleep?
    • On the seabed.
  • What made the octopus cross the reef?
    • To get to the other tide.
  • When an octopus goes to the bathroom, what happens?
    • It’s octo-pied.
  • What’s the favorite story of a baby octopus?
    • Octo-puss in boots.
  • Have you heard about the octopuses in love?
    • They went about arm in arm in arm in arm.
  • What was the favorite cartoon of the octopus?
    • Octonauts.
  • Have you heard about the guy who got an octopus tattoo?
    • He got inked up.
  • Is there any clothing that octopus knights wear?
    • A coat of arms.
  • Can you guess who held the baby octopus for ransom?
    • Squidnappers.
  • An octopus has eight limbs, so how would you describe an octopus with seven limbs?
    • An amputee.
  • When you cross an octopus with a cow, what do you get?
    • An animal that milks itself.
  • How do we know that octopuses can’t commit crimes?
    • There is not a single bad bone in their bodies. (octopus have no bones)
  • An octopus tells its lover what?
    • “You octopi my heart.”
  • Is there something with eight arms that tells the time?
    • A clock-topus.
  • What is the favorite number of an octopus?
    • 3.14 — octo-pi.
  • Is there a reason why octopuses are always happy?
    • They see the octo-plus side of things.
  • What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus?
    • A call from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
  • What is the octopus’ favorite card?
    • 3 of hearts.

Hilarious Octopus One Liners and Quotes

  • I saw a singing octopus once, in the choral reef.
  • Scientists have discovered that, on occasion, an octopus will “punch” a fish for no reason other than spite.
    • That’s called Toxic Molluskulinity.
  • A dancing octopus was seen at the marine disco.
    • It pulled a mussel.
  •  A group of octopuses is an octo-posse.
  • Octopuses were filming a TV show, but they had to temporarily stop recording.
    • They were experiencing tentacle difficulties.
  • Another name for a job for an octopus is an octo-pation.
  • Interviewer: What makes you think you’d make a good waiter?
    • Octopus: I just really feel like I could bring a lot to the table.
  • An octopus is asked to join the army by a recruiter.
    • The octopus says, “No thanks, I’m army enough as it is.”
  • Talent without discipline is like an octopus on skates. There’s plenty of movement, but you never know if it’s going forward, backwards or sideways.
    • – H.Jackson Brown

Octopus Trivia Challenge

Author’s Note

Octopus jokes may be pun-derful and tenta-clever, but they’re all in good fun! These eight-armed creatures provide endless inspiration for humor, showing that even in the deep sea, laughter can be found in abundance. So, whether you’re tickled by tentickles or find their ink-ling humor amusing, octopus jokes are sure to brighten your day!

You’ll love these Ten Curious Facts About Octopuses!

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Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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