Funny Monday Jokes to Keep You Laughing Throughout the Week

Monday is always a day that people dread. It’s been a long weekend, and now it’s time to get back to work. But, if you’re having a bad Monday, try these funny Monday jokes!

Our goal is to provide you with most of the silly humor, so you can start your week off on the right foot. Feel free to share with your friends these jokes, they can laugh with you too!

Funny Remarks About Monday

  • If Monday had a face, I’d punch it.
    • But then I’d have to apologize for the violence and explain to Tuesday why I was in a fight with Monday!
  • Monday is the day that my coffee needs coffee before I can start my day.
    • It’s like a caffeine relay race just to get going!
  • If Monday were a movie,
    • it would be very long and boring. 
  • It’s called the Monday syndrome.
    • It’s only Tuesday that you realize you have a preexisting condition.
  • Whenever Monday showed its face,
    • I would punch it. 
  • A day like Monday isn’t all that bad,
    • just 48 hours ago it was a sadder-day!
  • Tuesday is my favorite day of the week
    • because it is the furthest away from next Monday that I can be. 
  • On the bright side,
    • Mondays only come around once a week.
  • If you ever see me smiling on a Monday,
    • I am wearing skin that was stolen from an alien and is now covered in my body.
  • Monday morning…
    • Rolling out of bed is easy.
    • Getting up off the floor is another story. 
  • If every day is a gift,
    • I’d like to know where I can go on Mondays. 
  • In honor of bread week, I’ve decided to dress as a different type of bread each day.
    • Roll on Monday.
  • The only thing scarier than Friday the 13th is Monday the 13th.
    • It’s a much spookier day.

You need a good laugh tonight since Monday is coming up. Have a look at this list of funny Sleep Jokes that will keep you awake laughing.

Humorous Monday Jokes

  • Why don’t we tell secrets on Mondays?
    • Because by Tuesday, we’ve forgotten them!
  • Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison at the beginning of the week?
    • He had been Monday laundering!
  • What do you call someone who is happy on Mondays?
    • Unemployed.
  • In the example given, Johnny would buy seventeen donuts each Monday, and he would eat twelve each Wednesday. What would Johnny have at the end of the year?
    • Diabetes.
  • What do hens think about Mondays?
    • Eggshausted.
  • On Monday morning, what did the cashew say?
    • Monday always drives me nuts!
  • When Mondays are free of Zoom meetings, what do you call them?
    • Meetless Mondays.
  • On Monday mornings, what does the executioner say?
    • Work is calling. Time to beheaded.
  • M&M was excited to start school on Monday for what reason?
    • He wanted to be a Smartie!
  • Is there anyone who is always eager to start a new work week in a galaxy far, far away?
    • The Mondaylorians.
  • Is there anything Sonic needs on Mondays?
    • Hedge-hugs.
  • What did Monday have to say to Friday?
    • Between you and I, today is a good day to hump.
  • What day of the week are demons the most tired?
    • Just like everyone else, it’s De-Monday.
  • What did the cyclops say when he was told to wake up on Monday morning?
    • Eye don’t want to get up!
  • What do cheeses say to each other on Monday mornings?
    • Have a Gouda week!
  • Why is Sunday stronger than Monday?
    • Because monday is a weekday.
  • How do you make a blonde laugh on a Monday?
    • Tell her a joke on tuesday.

Find out how to make everyone laugh at these office jokes.

Monday Knock Knock Jokes

  • Knock Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Heymon.
    • Heymon who?
    • Heymonday is here already!
  • Knock Knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Toothy.
    • Toothy who?
    • Toothy the day after Monday.
  • Knock knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Monday. Go Away!

The Monday Blues Quiz

Author’s Note

I know It’s Monday morning and you’re already thinking about how to get through the week. If you’re not a fan of Mondays, then hopefully those Monday jokes will help keep your spirits up!

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

Find out how to beat the Monday Blues with these 11 tips.

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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