Cookie Jokes You Won’t Find Crumby at All

Cookies are loved throughout the world. 

Whether you’re having a glass of milk in the United States, or a cup of tea in the United Kingdom, there’s always room for a little bit of sweetness. The one thing everyone agrees on, is that you can never have too many cookies, but you can laugh at many cookie jokes. 

Warm those cynical hearts with a hilarious cookie jokes that won’t leave you feeling crumby.

You can get full of laughs by reading our chocolate jokes, cake jokes or pasta jokes. 

Funny Cookie Jokes & Puns

• Is there a snack that little monkeys have with their milk? 
  • Chocolate chimp cookies!

• To make his bed, the Gingerbread Man uses what?
  • Cookie sheets!

• Kids like to carry what kind of keys?
  • Cookies!

• What caused the cookie to cry?
  • Because his mother was a wafer so long.

• Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
  • Because they can dunk them.

• What caused the chocolate chip cookie to drop all his chips?
  • Because that’s the way the cookie fumbles!

• The cookie went to the doctor for what reason?
  • Because he was feeling crumby.

• Oreo cookie went to the dentist for what reason?
  • Because he lost his filling.

• What’s the best way to describe an antelope cookie?
  • It is a cookie doe!

• Is there any type of cookie that can turn someone from a pauper to a wealthy man?
  • It definitely is a fortune cookie!

• Reddish-haired people absolutely love which variety of cookies?
  • They usually love ginger snaps!

• What is the best gift to give someone who is a little eccentric?
  • An ideal gift for a kooky person would be a cookie gift!

• Which rock band is a cookie’s favorite?
  • OREO Speedwagon.

• Before entering a cookie eating contest, what should you do?
  • Sign a wafer.

• Cookies in metric units are called what?
  • A gram cracker.

• I have 10 cookies, you take one. Now, what do you have?
  • A black eye, broken hand, and no cookie.

• When Nathan got fired from the fortune cookie factory, what did everyone say about him?
  • That’s unfortunate!

• When two cookies are made at the same time, what do you call them?
  • A batch made in heaven!

• Chocolate chip cookies call raisin cookies what?
  • Imposter!

• Did you hear what every cookie reads?
  • Oreo and Juliet.

• What will the crowd say about a cookie that wins a race?
  • “Chip Chip Hooray”

• Do you know what a queen wants on her cookie?
  • Royal Icing.

• What type of cookie has an orphan never tasted?
  • Home made cookies.

• When the baker forgot the cookie sheets, what did he say?
  • “Ooh, snicker doodles.”

• The brownie mix is at first base, the pudding is at second base, and the cookie dough is at third base. Who is hitting at the plate?
  • The cake batter.

• In response to the annoying cookie, what did the cookie say?
  • “Crumb on!”

• Bakeries and web browsers have what in common?
  • Both have cookies.

• There is something green and brown crawling through the grass. What is it?
  • A girl scout who has lost her cookie.

• How would you describe a smart cookie?
  • Academia nut.

• In Asgard, what are the most popular cookies?
  • Thoreos.

• Witches bake their cookies where?
  • In a coven.

• When Homer Simpson drops a cookie, what does he say?
  • “Dough!”

• Have you ever bought a bag of salad and it turned brown and soggy?
  • Cookies don’t do that.

• What is the best way to keep cookies fresh?
  • Eat them all in one sitting. 

• When you cross a cookie with a hammer, what do you get?
  • Cookie crumbs. 

Craziest Lines About Cookies

• I tried to start an online bakery.
  • However, I accidentally deleted all my cookies. 

• I got sick after eating too much cookie dough.
  • It was an overdoughse.

• A male friend of mine with two redheaded parents was turned into a cookie today.
  • Not much has changed though, he’s still a ginger-bred man.

• Using the internet to lose weight is so challenging.
  • Like every weightloss website I visit, I get cookies.

• One of those cookies was so big that I had to cut it in half. 
  • I guess that makes me a cookie cutter.

• I may be home late tonight since I have to cookie the books.

• Trust issues definition:
  • When raisin cookies are made to look like chocolate chip cookies. 

• How many times do I have to click “I accept cookies” before the cookies are sent? 

• If a cookie falls on the ground and you pick it up, that’s a squat, right? 

• There is a website that claims to offer the best diet program, but the first thing it asks me is if I accept cookies. 

Did you have fun laughing at these jokes and feel like you needed some cookies afterward? You have to try this best cookie recipe of all time.