Did you know that Cats spend 70% of their lives sleeping, which works out to around 13-16 hours a day? And 15% of the day grooming!
Wow, It’s a cat’s life!
To warm up, here are some of our favorites in a short video:
Now jump right in to our collection of funny cat jokes that we bet you’ll love to share with your family and friends.
Cat Jokes for Kids
Because cats can thrive indoors, they make great companions for kids.
They have more opportunities to play and take good care of their pet.
Share these funny jokes for them to love their furriest cat more.
- Wanna hear a bad cat joke? Just kitten!
- What does a cat have that no other animal has? Kittens.
- What should you say to your cat when you leave the house? “Have a mice day!”
- What is a cat’s favorite song? Three Blind Mice.
- What do cats like to eat for breakfast? Mice Krispies.
- What did the sick cat say? “I feel clawful!”
- What would a cat say if you stepped on its tail? “Me-OW!”
- What’s smarter than a talking cat? A spelling bee.
- Why are cats good at video games? Because they have nine lives!
- What did the cat say after hearing a funny joke? Lmao.
- What’s a cat’s favorite dessert? A mice cream cone.
- What do baby cats always wear? Diapurrs!
- What do cats wear at night? Paw-jamas.
- What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain!
- What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple!
- What’s a cat’s favourite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
- Who was the first cat to fly in an airplane? Kitty-hawk
- What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim? An octo-puss.
- What’s a cat’s favorite Shakespeare play? Romeow and Mew-liet.
- What do you call a big pile of cats? A purramid.
- How does a cat sing scales? Do-re-mew!
- Which day of the week do cats love the most? Caturday.
- What’s a kitten’s favorite kind of sticker? Scratch and sniff.
Cat Jokes for Adults
Just like us, Adult cats are usually a lot more sensible. Here our list of funniest cat jokes that are purr-fect for adults.
- How do two cats end a fight? They hiss and make up!
- How do you know a cat is agitated? He’s having a hissy fit!
- Why did some cat friends go to the mall? There was a buy-one-get-one-furry deal.
- What did the grandma cat say to her grandson when she saw him slouching? You need to pay more attention to my pawsture.
- What did the cat say when the mouse got away? You’ve got to be kitten me!
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Kitten. Kitten, who? Quit kitten around and open the door!
- Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? There are too many cheetahs.
- What do you call a cat that gives up? A “quitty.”
- Why was the cat sitting on the computer? To keep an eye on the mouse!
- What did the cat say when it was confused? “I’m purr-plexed!”
- A young boy felt bad after he accidentally let the neighbor’s cat get loose. After two weeks, the missing cat seemed to be gone for good. “I’m very sorry,” the boy told the neighbor. “I’d like to replace it for you.” “O.K.,” the neighbor said. “How good are you at catching mice?”
- What did the cat say when he lost all his money? I’m paw!
- Why don’t cats like online shopping? They prefer a cat-alogue.
- What types of cats purr the best? Purrr-sians!
- Where does a cat go when it loses its tail? The re-tail store!
- Two robins stuffed themselves with worms until they were too fat to fly. Since the birds couldn’t go anywhere, they decided to just sit and soak up the sun. Along came a cat, and it ate them. Licking its paws, the cat said, “I just love baskin’ robins!”
- Why was the animal lover so untrustworthy? She kept letting the cat out of the bag!
- For a man to truly understand rejection… he must first be ignored by a cat.
- What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo? An eskimew!
- Why do cats make horrible DJs? They always paws the tunes.
- What do you call the cat that was caught by the police? The purrpatrator.
- What’s worse than raining cats and dogs? Hailing taxis
- How do cats stop crimes? Claw enforcement!
- I had to get rid of my husband. He was allergic to my cat.
- What do you call a cat in a station wagon? A car-pet
- What do you call at cat that goes bowling? An alley cat.
- Why did the cat run away from the tree? It was scared of its bark.
- What did the alien say to the cat? “Take me to your litter.”
- Cats are smarter than dogs. You can’t get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. —Jeff Valdez
- The night while I was cat-sitting my daughter’s indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree. Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department. “We don’t do that anymore,” the woman dispatcher said. When I persisted, she was polite but firm. “The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough.” “How do you know that?” I asked. “Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?” she said. Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.
- When my daughter and I caught only one perch on our fishing trip—not enough for even a modest lunch—we decided to feed it to her two cats. She put our catch in their dish and watched as the two pampered pets sniffed at the fish but refused to eat it. Thinking quickly, my daughter then picked up the dish, walked over to the electric can opener, ran it for a few seconds, then put the fish back down. The cats dug right in.
- There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left? None, because they were all a bunch of copycats.
- Did you hear about the woman who refused to get her female cat spayed? She was arrested for littering.
- Is he catatonic? No, just taking a cat nap.
- What made the cat upgrade his phone? He wanted to finally get pawtrait mode.
- What do you call a kitten that cuts her hair really short? A bob cat!
- Knock Knock. Who’s there? Cat! Cat who? “Cat me outside, how bout dat?!”
Funny Cat Puns for all Ages
Let’s get frisky and share these funniest puns about cats with everyone.
- Why do cats always get their way? They are very purr-suasive!
- What is a cat’s favorite movie? The Sound of Mewsic!
- What’s a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping!
- Why did the cat wear a fancy dress? She was feline fine!
- What did the gym coach say to the cat? Have you paid your annual fleas?
- What do you call a cat that throws all the most expensive parties? The Great Catsby
- Why are kittens actually excellent bosses? They have great littership.
- What kind of sports car does a cat drive? A Furrari.
- What do you call a cat that’s a beauty influencer? Glamourpuss.
- Before going after a mouse, what did the dad cat say to his family? “Let us prey.”
- What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas? Santa Claws!
- What does the narcissistic cat say as she looks in the mirror? I am pawsitively gorgeous.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar? A sourpuss!
- What did the mom and dad cat say about their wedding day? “It was unfurrgetable!”
- Why did the cat join the Red Cross? She wanted to be a first-aid kit!
- Why was the teenage cat sent to his room? He was in a bad meowd.
- CAT TO OWNER: Why are you so upset that I shed on the couch? It’s called fur-niture!
- You’re not feline well? Do you need a purramedic?
- Live long and pawspurr!
- What’s another name for a cat’s house? A scratch pad!
- Why did the kitty get an “A” on their English assignment? They properly used an independent claws.
- I’m not playing games with you, mouse – this is fur real!
- My cat is definitely my best fur-end in the whole wide world.
- As soon as the cat entered the car to go to the vet, he became hiss-terical.
- Go refill the food bowl – right meow!
- “Your cat just leaped from the second-story window and ran away. Are you kitten me?”
- I petted my cat too aggressively back in 2004, now he doesn’t like to be touched. He will never fur-get.
- The cat will like you always and love you furr-ever.
- “As soon as the cat entered the car to go to the vet, he became hiss-terical.”
- When a cat doesn’t want to say goodbye, what do they say instead? “See ya litter!”
- My cat just taught himself how to flush the toilet. Claw-ver little devil.
- The human was a fur-midable opponent in the famous cuddle battle of last night. I Mittens, however, declare myself the victor.
Let us share with you more amazing fun facts about Cats:
They are nearsighted, but their peripheral vision and night vision are much better than that of humans.
And They can rotate their ears 180 degrees with the help of 32 muscles that they use to control them.
Another trivia, Male cats are more likely to be left-pawed, while female cats are more likely to be right-pawed.
That’s our list of funny jokes about cats! If you liked this article, why not share it with your friends?
For more cat humor head over to Pinterest for the funniest cat cartoons.
Are there some hilarious cat jokes that you know that we didn’t mention? Let us know over on the comments box below.