Wine Jokes to Make the Room Go Crazy With Laughter

When I think about wine, I think about silliness, fun, and laughter. 

No matter how serious one might look when drinking wine, there is always some form of silliness and fun associated with it. It’s true that there are a lot of jokes about wine that are worth sharing with friends. 

These funniest wine jokes will make you giggle and have the room in stitches.

Hilarious Wine Jokes

• What’s the magical way to make wine vanish?
  • Sip it, and behold, it performs a disappearing act!

• Why did the wine seek therapy?
  • It had a corkload of bottled-up feelings and needed to let the emotions “breathe”!

• What’s the romantic chat between two wine glasses?
  • One glass says, “You complete my vintage journey, my dear!”

• What kind of humor tickles a wine’s funny bone?
  • The kind that leaves it in “grape” anticipation of the punchline!

• Where does a wine enthusiast find bliss?
  • In a utopia known as “Vinetopia,” where every sip is an adventure!

• How do you arrange a soirée for wine enthusiasts?
  • You pop the cork and let the good times flow – it’s a “corktastic” celebration!

• When the elephant stood on the grape, what did it say?
  • Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

• Do you determine how much wine you will drink?
  • Take it on case-by-case basis.

• What is the wine hangover called?
  • The grape depression.

• How can you enjoy a good bottle of wine?
  • Open the bottle to let it breathe.
  • If it doesn’t look like it’s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.

• Are librarians fond of white wine?
  • No, they like theirs well red!

• Do you know that wine does not make you fat?
  • It makes you lean… against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people. 

• How do you describe a woman with a glass of wine on her head?
  • A taxi. 

• How do you tell if a man is really, really gay?
  • When he’s nursing a glass of pinot grigio!

• How do women envision romantic nights?
  • Netflix and Chilled wine.

• What does a woman consider a balanced diet?
  • A glass of wine in each hand!

• Which wine pairs well with hard-to-please relatives?
  • All of them!

• How much should you spend on a bottle of wine?
  • Maybe half an hour. 

Having a party soon? Looking for backup jokes? Check out these bar jokes, bartender jokes, and music jokes that are perfect for any get-together!

Humorous Wine Puns

• Now you just wait a Prosecco-nd.

• All for wine, and wine for all.

• Let’s get fizz-ical with some Champagne.

• Don’t worry, I’m an ex-port on dessert wine.

• Let’s wine things down a bit.

• Hakuna Moscato – It means drink wine.

• Everything happens for a riesling, right?

• You’re the wine that I want.

• What is the best time to drink alcohol for women?
  • Wine O’Clock.

• What kind of wine is served at the horse races?
  • Chardon-neigh!

• Which wine is aged to purr-fection?
  • Mos-cat-o!

• Have you heard about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
  • They call themselves the Sip-ranos! 

• What type of wine is notorious for making you sleepy?
  • Sauvign-yawn blanc!

• Do I like wine?
  • You bet Shiraz I do!

• Are you aware that Pinot Noir is actually spelled Pinot Noi?
  • There’s technically Noir. 

• How do you describe a grape that is anti-diuretic?
  • Pinot More. 

Funny Wine One Liners

• Dogs have been trained to bring me a glass of red wine.
  • It’s a Bordeaux collie.

• I enjoy cooking with wine.
  • Sometimes I even put it in the food.

• I love drinking wine.
  • The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get.

• Can you tell me how much rent this amazing place costs?
  • “Ma’am, this is the wine aisle of the grocery store.”

• I enjoy a glass of wine every night for its health benefits.
  • The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves. 

• Today I made fruit salad.
  • I started with a lime then tossed it with gin and tonic. 

• An empty wine bottle was found on the floor of the car, and the cop smelled alcohol on the priest’s breath.
  • Cop: What’s in the bottle, ma’am? 
  • Priest: Just water, I guess. 
  • Cop: Ma’am… That’s wine. 
  • Priest: Jesus did it again!

• A good friend brings over a bottle of wine to share.
  • A best friend brings two.
  • One for you, one for me.

• Whether the glass is half full or half empty doesn’t matter.
  • There’s clearly room for more wine.

• It’s a sad story about grapes that should have been wine in every box of raisins.

• It’s Saturday!
  • All you need to decide is what type of wine to have.

• To cope with stress, I’ve learned to relax and meditate.
  • Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine.

• First on my bucket list: filling the bucket with wine.

• It will be great when I can drink wine with my kids instead of for them.

• Did you know?
  • You can make wine the star of your dinner if you combine it with wine. 

• Wine pairs perfectly with more of this wine. 

• There is no I in team, but there is in Wine!

• I hate pouring a glass of wine…
  • and then having six more by accident!

• There are some things better left unsaid…
  • but eventually I’ll have wine and say them anyway. 

The Wine Tasting Quiz

Author’s Note

Wine, with its rich flavors and the laughter it inspires, is the elixir of life’s most delightful moments. Just as a fine wine gets better with age, so does our appreciation for the humor and camaraderie it brings.

So, whether you’re savoring a vintage bottle or sharing a laugh with friends over a glass, remember that life, like a good wine, is best enjoyed when shared and seasoned with humor. Cheers to the timeless joy of wine and laughter!

Do you know someone who loves wine? Is he planning a party? Find out what to give these 39 funny gifts to people obsessed with drinking wine!