Funniest Apple Jokes You Can’t Miss in a Day

You’ve most likely heard or read at least one or two Apple Jokes. You might know the classic – why did the man bring an apple to the doctor? Because he wanted to be “Apple Ahead!”

Well, there are a lot of Apple jokes out there and we’ve put together some of the funniest.

Stay healthy and chuckle a lot!

Funny Apple Jokes

  • What is the secret behind an apple a day keeping the doctor away?
    • Take careful aim at his head.
  • What did the apple tell the pie?
    • You’ve got some crust.
  • How do you describe a fruit that’s rough around the edges?
    • A bad apple.
  • Apples have a favorite relative, who is it?
    • Granny.
  • If you cross an apple with a shellfish, what do you get?
    • A crab apple!
  • Who brought all the apples to the bakery?
    • The Pie Piper.
  • Bob the Builder couldn’t eat the apple. Why?
    • Because it was Adam’s apple.
  • What does an onion do for you if an apple keeps the doctor away?
    • Keeps everyone away.
  • Why did Eve want to leave the garden of Eden and go to New York?
    • She fell for the Big Apple!
  • Is there anything worse than finding a worm in your apple?
    • Taking a bite and finding half a worm.
  • How do you make apple puffs?
    • Chase it round the garden.
  • Why shouldn’t you fart in an Apple store?
    • Cause they dont have windows.
  • How are apples and orphans different?
    • Apple gets picked.
  • What’s yellow and hung on an apple tree?
    • A stupid banana.
  • What is the best way to make an apple turnover?
    • Push it downhill. 
  • How many apples grow on an apple tree?
    • All of them.
  • Why do pigs visit New York City?
    • To see the Big Apple.
  • What is the best way to get the most apples at Halloween?
    • Take a snorkel.
  • When an apple crosses a Christmas tree, what do you get?
    • Pineapple.
  • What can a whole apple do that a half apple cannot?
    • It can look round.
  • It takes how many Apple users to change a light bulb?
    • None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house!
  • What will the new company be called if Samsung and Apple merge?
    • Sample! 

Hilarious Apple Puns

  • That hoodie doesn’t have a zipper, it’s an apple-over (a pullover).
  • An apple pie in Jamaica cost $2 and in Barbados its $1.90.
    • These are the Caribbean pie rates.
  • What caused the apple to cry?
    • Her peelings were injured.
  • The apple went to the doctor for what reason?
    • It wasn’t peeling well.
  • How would you describe a funeral for a piece of fruit?
    • Apple-bearer.
  • What was the pie’s favorite pop star?
    • Apple Pie Spice.
  • When a fruit wins a talent show, what do you say?
    • How about them apples?
  • Can you tell me what happened to the two apple trees that were planted together?
    • They lived appley ever after.
  • What would you say to someone too scared to plant apples?
    • Grow a pear.
  • What about the guy who tried to grow an apple orchard without trees?
    • His efforts were fruitless.
  • Where do chickens come from, if apples come from an apple tree and oranges come from an orange tree?
    • A pouI-tree.

Crazy Apple One-Liners

  • Steve Jobs would’ve been a better president than Trump.
    • But I guess comparing apples to oranges is unfair.
  • I went to the store today to buy some apples and oranges, but they didn’t have any.
    • It was a fruitless trip.
  • Why are iPhone chargers not called apple juice? 
  • The only way I’ll eat that apple is if it’s covered in caramel and I can hold it with a stick.
    • Peanuts optional. 
  • A fruit and vegetable business owned by a friend who grows apples has been liquidated.
    • They make smoothies.
  • Following a recipe, says I need:
    • Apples, five cubed. 125 sounds like a lot of apples for a pie.
  • Apple fan:
    • My new address – iStreet.

The apple is a fruit which is definitely the best of its kind. Apple is also a great name for a fruit. Funny and punny jokes are a great way to endear people to your company and products. So, whether you are a fruit vendor or not, you can find some good jokes here.

How much do you actually know about the apple? Consider these 25 fun facts about apples as you snack on some apple slices.

On FunnyJokesToday, you’ll find plenty of family-friendly puns! You might also enjoy banana jokes and coconut jokes, or if you want something different, you may also enjoy short people jokes that make you LOL all day long.

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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