Wedding Jokes That Will Make You Howl With Laughter

An act of love between two people can be the most beautiful thing in the world. One thing that is a must-have at a wedding is a sense of humor.

Wedding jokes are very popular among wedding-goers. Adding these jokes to the wedding will keep guests entertained and add a touch of magic to the event.

Get ready to howl with laughter!

Funny Wedding Jokes and Puns

  • What was the purpose of the best man bringing a broom to the wedding?
    • Because he wanted to sweep the bride off her feet!
  • Is there a reason why married people live longer?
    • Because they can’t argue with their spouse if they’re dead!
  • Can you tell me why the King of Hearts married the Queen of Hearts?
    • They were perfectly suited to each other.
  • Is there a reason why that man was twisting his wedding ring on his finger?
    • He was trying to figure out the combination.
  • Have you heard about the two cell phones who got married?
    • The reception was terrific.
  • Have you heard about the couple of spiders who just got engaged?
    • I hear they met on the web.
  • Have you heard about the bald man who married his comb?
    • He promised, “I’ll never part with it!”
  • Have you heard about the notebook who married a pencil?
    • She finally found Mr. Write.
  • Is there a penalty for bigamy?
    • Two mothers-in-law.
  • Late nights, wild parties, and hanging out with friends on the weekend: what do they all have in common?
    • You won’t be able to do any of those things from now on. But congratulations on your wedding!
  • When did you get to know your spouse?
    • A week or two after the wedding, sadly.
  • What makes husbands like lawn mowers?
    • They’re hard to get started, emit foul odors and don’t work half the time!

Hilarious Lines and Quotes About Wedding

  • In marriage, a man and woman become one.
    • The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  • A marriage can be compared to a deck of cards.
    • At the start, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
    • By the end, you’re looking for a club and a spade.
  • When it comes to remembering your wedding anniversary, it is best to forget it once!
  • Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy.
  • Football players are my heroes because I know what it’s like to train all your life for a huge, jewel-encrusted ring.
  • An overheard statement at my garden-club meeting:
    • “I never knew what compost was until I met my husband.”
  • I just saw two nuclear technicians get married.
    • It was a radiant wedding, and the groom was glowing as well.
  • Perhaps it was the most romantic statement ever made in our courthouse.
    • During the interval between hearings, a wedding took place.
    • As the newlyweds left the courtroom, the bride nestled up to the groom and cooed, “Isn’t it nice to be here when we’re not being convicted of something?”
  • Marriage is the union of a man and a woman.
    • The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
  • Love is one long sweet dream…
    • and marriage is the alarm clock.
  • The wife says I can join your gang but…
    • I have to be home by 9 p.m.
  • (Giving a wedding speech) “There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who finish what they start…” (walks off)
  • In the past, I was unaware of how much blood, sweat, and tears go into planning a wedding.
    • Hours of discussion, debate and disagreement—and finally he/she asked me to marry him/her.
  • At the cocktail party, one woman asked another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”
    • The other replied, “Yes, I did, I married the wrong man.”
  • GF: You’re so childish.
    • Me: It’s my day too Linda.
    • [we sit in silence]
    • Wedding planner: So, is it yes or no for the bouncy castle?
  • Last weekend, I attended a cannibal wedding.
    • It was all going well until they decided to toast the newlyweds.
  • I bought a ticket to the World Cup finals without knowing it was also my wedding day!
    • Would anyone like to take my place?
    • The church is St. Antony’s and the bride’s name is Joanna.
  • In my wedding ceremony, I walked down the aisle facing away from the altar.
    • I really wasn’t looking forward to getting married.
  • At weddings, blue-haired old aunts poked me in the ribs and cackled, “You’re next!”
    • They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
  • The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.
  • The engagement ring, the wedding ring, the suffering, and the enduring.
  • Rather than playing the Wedding March, the organist should have played the Hallelujah Chorus!
  • Let us pause for a moment of silence in honour of the 3,000 prawns, 200 chickens, countless carnations, delphiniums, lilies and roses who selflessly sacrificed their lives to make this wedding possible.
  • “All the married men, please stand beside the one person who has made your life worth living,” shouted the photographer at the wedding reception.
    • The bartender was almost crushed to death.
  • Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum.
    • I’m extremely hungover.
    • I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom drink alone, could I?
  • “The only way I’m coming to your wedding is if YOU get ME a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.”
  • “To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.”
    • — Ogden Nash
  • Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards.
    • — Benjamin Franklin

The Wedding Planning Quiz

Author’s Note

These wedding jokes are meant to bring smiles and laughter to the joyous occasion. Share them with the newlyweds and guests to add a touch of humor to the celebration!

Heart Jokes, What’s the Difference Jokes, and What Do You Call Jokes are perfect addition to these wedding jokes during the event. You can also share it for more fun.

These wedding games are sure to be a hit with the newlyweds and their guests. Check it out!

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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