Harry Potter Jokes That Are Riddikulusly Funny, Avada Kedavra!

Are you a die-hard Harry Potter fan? Do you love laughing so much that it’s often mistaken for crying? Do your friends and family gets annoyed by the fact that they never know when to take you seriously because you’re always cracking jokes? If any of these questions are true, then this blog post is perfect for you!

There are plenty of Harry Potter jokes to be laughed at. We’ve got everything from puns to pickup lines to witty one-liners. So if laughter is what gives your daily life meaning, read on! You won’t regret it.

Interesting Harry Potter Jokes

  • How does Harry Potter navigate a slope?
    • By taking a leisurely stroll. Just kidding, Rowling in style!
  • What’s Professor Dumbledore’s top musical preference?
    • He’s all about that “Wiz-tunes” and rockin’ wand solos!
  • What’s the term for a Hufflepuff with a pair of wands?
    • A wizard who’s “wand-erfully” well-prepared for any magical mishap!
  • When a bunch of musical wizards gather, what do you get?
    • The ultimate “spellbinding” rock ensemble – they’re truly a “magi-cal” band!
  • Why did the owl carry a pencil to Hogwarts?
    • Because it aimed to master the art of “owl-igraphy” and pen the finest wizarding scrolls!
  • You don’t understand my Harry Potter jokes?
    • There must be something RON with you.
  • What does Harry Potter do to get rid of a rash?
    • With quit-itch.
  • What’s the name of a Hufflepuff with just one brain cell?
    • Gifted.
  • Why did the comedian give Harry Potter a funny line?
    • “Why so Sirius?”
  • On which day of the week is Aragog most happy?
    • Flyday!
  • How many Slytherins do you need to stir a cauldron?
    • Just one. She puts in her wand; the cauldron swirls around her.
  • Why is Garrick Ollivander never at home?
    • He’s a wanderer!
  • Snape doesn’t teach herbology, so why is that?
    • Because his lily died.
  • The Protons voted for Harry Potter to be president for what reason?
    • Because they didn’t want to elect Ron.
  • On a scale of 1 to 10, how obsessed am I with the Harry Potter series?
    • Nine and three quarters.
  • Do you know where to find Dumbledore’s army?
    • Up his sleeve-y!
  • How does Harry Potter not recognize the difference between his potions pot and his best friend’s pot?
    • They’re both cauld ron.
  • In what way does Harry Potter enter a room?
    • Through the Gryffin-door.
  • What is Voldemort’s reason for preferring Twitter to Facebook?
    • Because he only has followers, not friends.
  • What does Harry Potter have that The Dark Lord does not?
    • Nose.
  • Lucius Malfoy crossed the road twice, why?
    • That’s because he’s a double-crosser.
  • Where on the centaur does the hair grow the most?
    • The outside.
  • What caused Harry Potter to be pulled over for speeding?
    • Because he didn’t expect-no-patrol-man.
  • What do Harry Potter wizards use instead of laxatives?
    • Expellianus.

Are you a fan of Pirates of the Caribbean too? Check out this collection of funny pirate jokes that you won’t soon forget or Cow Jokes that surely A-moo-sed you.

Harry Potter Pickup Lines and One-Liners

  • I must have taken some Felix Felicis,
    • because I think I’m about to get lucky.
  • Slytherin puns will Slytherin any conversation.
  • “We don’t serve time-travelers here,” the barman says.
    • Hermione walks into a pub with a Time-Turner.
  • Harry Potter fans are like: “I want to go to Hogwarts!”
    • Narnia fans are like: “I wanna go to Narnia!”
    • Hunger Games fans are like: “I’m good…”
  • Roses are red, violets are blue…
    • If you don’t like Harry Potter puns, something is Siriusly Ron with you.
  • A wizard walks into a pub and orders a Forgetfulness Potion.
    • He asks the witch next to him, “So, do you come here often?””
  • When I look into the Mirror of Eris,
    • I see you giving me your phone number.
  • Despite being a muggle,
    • that body is magical.
  • I have been whistling my willow thinking about you.
  • It appears that you must be a basilisk
    • because the moment I saw your eyes, I froze.
  • I’ve never met anyone so charming as you.
    • You were probably in Professor Flitwick’s class.
  • You must be a Snitch,
    • because I have sought you my entire life.
  • My name may not be Luna,
    • but I certainly know how to Lovegood!
  • Have you survived Avada Kedavra?
    • That’s because you are absolutely beautiful.
  • Are you a fan of Harry Potter?
    • Because I a-Dumbledore you!

Harry Potter Fans Unite

Author’s Note

One of the best things about the Harry Potter series is that it combines romance, epic adventures, and comedy all at once. So if you want to make your friends laugh and spread the love then those Harry Potter jokes mentioned above will be your go-to resource to make their day and look cool in the process.  

If you want more puns, visit our entire collection of Funny Jokes Today.

Check out Magical World Trivia: 50 Fun Facts About Harry Potter.

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