The Craziest Cow Jokes That Surely A-moo-sed You

by Megha Sharma  |  24 Feb 2021

Oh, cows? Fun fact: Every cow has 32 teeth and chews about 50 times in a minute, making its jaws move about 40,000 times a day.

Even more impressive, Cows can sleep while they are standing up! How convenient!!!

So let’s start moo-ving and check out these hilarious cow jokes.

Kid-Friendly Cow Jokes

Gather the kids and make them laugh hilariously with these cow jokes ideally made for them.

  • What did the mother cow say to the baby cow? It’s pasture bedtime.
Cow Jokes - What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
  • How do you count cows? With a cowculator.
  • What do you call a magic cow? Moo-dini.
  • What do you see in a cow’s nose? Moooogers.
  • What are cows knees called? Burger joints.
Cow Jokes - What are cows knees called?
  • What do you call a sleeping cow? A bull dozer.
  • What does a cow watch? MooTube.
  • What did the Auntie cow say to her niece? You’re so udderly cute!
  • What do you call a funny cow? A cowmedian.
  • What sound do you hear when a cow breaks the sound barrier? Cowboom.
  • What is a baby cow’s favorite song? The veals on the bus go round and round.
  • What do you call a cow with full armor? Sir loin.
  • What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.
  • What do you call two ducks and a cow? Quackers and milk.
  • What do cows read in the morning? The moos-paper.
Cow Jokes - What do cows read in the morning?
  • Where will you find the most cows? Moo York.
  • What do cows play at concerts? Moo-sic!
  • What’s a cow’s favorite sci-fi TV programme? Dr. Moo!
  • What do you call a cow in your backyard? A lawn-mower.
  • Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
  • Why did the cow go to the spa? She really needed some re-hoove-ination!
  • What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog? Hound beef.
Cow Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
  • Why do cows lie down in groups when it’s cold? To keep each udder warm!
  • Why was the cow sad? She was moo-dy.
  • Which cow is the best dancer? The one with the best moooves!
  • What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? A moosician.
  • Why was the cow afraid? He was a cow-herd.
  • What did the cow say to the fat pig? Moooooooove over.
  • What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster? Roost beef.
Cow Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
  • Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the moo-seum!
  • What did the cow say to the cheese? I am your father.
Cow Jokes - What did the cow say to the cheese?
  • Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the milky way!
  • How do cows laugh? Moo-haha.
  • What is a cow’s favorite party game? Moo-sical chairs!
  • What’s a cow’s best subject in school? Cow-culus.
Cow Jokes - What’s a cow’s best subject in school?

Funny Knock Knock Cow Jokes

Knock Knock jokes are one of the most favorites of kids and even adults!

Browse through these funny knock knock cow jokes and start the giggling moments with family and friends.

  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says. Cow says who? No, silly. Cow says MOOOOOOOO.
Cow Jokes - Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow, who? MOOOOOO!!!!
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? A cow with no lips. A cow with no lips who? A cow with no lips said ooo ooo.
Cow Jokes - Knock knock. Who's there? A cow with no lips.
  • Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow-a-bunga dude!
  • Know knock. Who’s there. Moo. Moo who? Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
Cow Jokes - Know knock. Who's there. Moo.
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy cow jump over the moon!
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? Cow much longer are you going to put up with all this knocking?
  • Knock, knock! Who’s there? Cows. Cows who? Cows go ‘moo’ not who!

Hilarious Cow Riddles and Jokes

Let’s deepen our love for the moo-ing mammal.

Start exchanging these lists of puzzling and yet funny cow riddles with your loved ones.

  • What does a cow say when he remembers something? “I have deja moo!”
Cow Jokes - What does a cow say when he remembers something?
  • Why do cows tell jokes? To amoo-se themselves!
  • What do cows use in WhatsApp messages? Emooojis!
  • How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down!
  • What do you call a cow after she has given birth? Decaffeinated.
Cow Jokes - What do you call a cow after she has given birth?
  • What did the cow say to Ariana Grande? You’ve got the mooooooves!
  • Did you hear about the cow that was swept away in a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
  • What happens when you talk to a cow? It goes in one ear and out the udder!
Cow Jokes - What happens when you talk to a cow?
  • What happens when a calf gives her mom an attitude? She tans its hide.
  • Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don’t work.
Cow Jokes - Why do cows have bells?
  • Why don’t bulls play archery? They might hit a bulls-eye.
  • How does a cow avoid acting rashly? She takes stock of the situation first.
  • Why don’t most cows lie? They can smell bull.
  • What did one dairy cow say to the other? Got milk?
  • What’s a cow’s favorite newspaper? The Daily Moos.
  • My butcher once gave me beef from a female cow. I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak”.
  • I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day… Guess you could call it a rare experience.
  • Two cows standing in a paddock, one says “moo”. The other turns to him and says “I was just going to say that”.
  • Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face… How dairy!
Cow Jokes - Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face...
  • What did the farmer call the cow that had no milk? An udder failure.
  • Why can’t the bankrupt cowboy complain? He got no beef.
  • What do you get when you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow? A baaaaaaad mooooood.
  • What do you call a cow that drinks too much coffee? Over-calfinated.
  • What does a farmer talk about when she’s milking a cow? Udder nonsense.
  • What did the secret agent cow say to the other? Are you udder cover?
  • Why don’t cows have any money? Because farmers milk them dry.
  • What happens when a cow laughs? Milk comes out of its nose.
  • What do you get when a cow jumps on a trampoline? Milkshake.
  • What did the cow say to its therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”
  • I had problems milking my cow one morning. It was an udder failure.
  • What did the cow say to all her friends? I am legen-dairy.
  • What did the coach say to the cows? “Now get out there and give me 2%!”
  • Why can’t cows wear shoes? Because they lactose.
  • What do you call a cow that can’t produce milk? A milk dud.
  • You know what they say about cows… they’re outstanding in their field.
  • What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake? YOU GET A MILKSHAKE!
Cow Jokes - What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
  • Where did the bull lose all his money? At the cow-sino!
  • What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf? Blue Cheese.
  • Teacher: Kids what does a chicken give you? Students: Eggs Teacher: Very good! Now, what does the pig give you? Kids: Bacon Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you? Kids: Homework
  • What do you get from a dwarf cow? Condensed milk
  • How does a cow become invisible? Through camooflage.
  • How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
  • What do you call a feminine cow? A dairy queen.
  • What do you call it when one cow spies on another cow? A steak out.
  • Why do cows go to New York? To see the moosicals.
  • How do you get a cow to keep quiet? Press the moooote button.
  • What do you call cattle that tell jokes? Laughing stock.
  • It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces. They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies.
  • What do you get when you take a bovine and divide its circumference by its diameter? A cow pi.
  • What did the cow and bull do for their first date? Dinner and a moovie.
  • Déjà Moo… the feeling that you’ve heard this Bull before.
  • My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana… The steaks have never been so high!
  • Why did the cow doesn’t want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
  • What did the cow confess to his therapist? “I feel seen but not herd.”
  • Two cows are out grazing in the field… One cow says to the other cow, “Aren’t you worried about this mad cow disease that’s been going around?” The other cow replied, “Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I’m a rabbit!”
  • I have a decent joke about a cow but it’s pretty offensive… so I’ll probably need to take it down [remooooooved].
Cow Jokes - I have a decent joke about a cow but it’s pretty offensive

How do you find our list of hilarious cow jokes? I hope we made your day! Don’t forget to share it with your A-moo-sing family and friends.

I can sense that these cow jokes made you laugh-out-loud and you are looking for more! Just relax, we got you. Here are my suggestions for your next read.

Visit Successful Farming to learn about the 16 Common Cattle Breeds throughout the world and their history.

To end this, cows are gentle animals who are affectionate, emotional, intelligent, and funny.

These black and white, sometimes brown, grass-eating beasts that go “moo” around are one of the most favorite animals. Do you know why? Simply because they are the number one source of our favorite dairy products, MILK, MILKSHAKES, ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATES, ETC.!

If you have cow jokes that are not on our list, please share them with us in the comments section below so we can add them too.

About the author 

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast.Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.


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