The Craziest Cow Jokes That Surely A-moo-sed You

Oh, cows? Fun fact: Every cow has 32 teeth and chews about 50 times in a minute, making its jaws move about 40,000 times a day.

What’s more impressive is that cows can sleep standing up! That’s incredible! Not to mention, they make the world’s favorite drink! Delicious milk! Get your laughs in today with these great milk jokes.

So let’s start moo-ving and check out these hilarious cow jokes.

Kid-Friendly Cow Jokes

Gather the kids and make them laugh hilariously with these cow jokes ideally made for them.

  • What motivated the cow to start a gardening business?
    • Because it had a green thumb!
  • How does a cow keep up with current events?
    • It reads the moos!
  • The cow went to the spa for what reason?
    • It wanted to get a moos-treatment!
  • Can you tell me what kind of music cows like to listen to?
    • Moosic, of course!
  • If you cross a cow with a dog, what do you get?
    • An animal that barks while it mooo-ves!
  • When the mother cow spoke to the baby cow, what did she say to him?
    • It’s pasture bedtime.
Cow Jokes - What did the mother cow say to the baby cow?
  • Do you know what is the best way to count cows?
    • With a cowculator.
  • Why do you call a magic cow a magic cow?
    • Moo-dini.
  • In a cow’s nose, you see? 
    • Moooogers.
  • Cow knees are called? 
    • Burger joints.
Cow Jokes - What are cows knees called?
  • The sleeping cow is called what? 
    • A bull dozer.
  • Cows watch what? 
    • MooTube.
  • Could you tell me what the Auntie Cow said to her niece?
    • You’re so udderly cute!
  • What is a funny cow called?
    • A cowmedian.
  • When a cow breaks the sound barrier, what sound do you hear?
    • Cowboom.
  • Baby cows love to listen to what song?
    • The veals on the bus go round and round.
  • How do you refer to a cow wearing full armor?
    • Sir loin.
  • What are you going to get out of a pampered cow?
    • Spoiled milk.
  • I have two ducks, one cow, what do you call them?
    • Quackers and milk.
  • When cows wake up in the morning, they read…
    • The moos-paper.
Cow Jokes - What do cows read in the morning?
  • I wonder where you will find the most cows.
    • Moo York.
  • Cows play what at concerts?
    • Moo-sic!
  • What’s a cow’s favorite sci-fi show on television? 
    • Dr. Moo!
  • What do you call a cow in your yard?
    • A lawn-mower.
  • Why does a cow have bells?
    • Because their horns don’t work.
  • Why did the cow visit the spa?
    • She really needed some re-hoove-ination!
  • What do you get if you cross a cow and a dog?
    • Hound beef.
Cow Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cow and a dog?
  • Why do cows gather in groups when it is cold?
    • To keep each udder warm!
  • Why was the cow upset?
    • She was moo-dy.
  • Among the cows, which one is the best dancer?
    • The one with the best moooves!
  • When a cow plays an instrument, what do you call it?
    • A moosician.
  • Why did the cow seem so afraid?
    • He was a cow-herd.
  • What did the cow tell the fat pig?
    • Moooooooove over.
  • When you cross a cow with a rooster, what do you get?
    • Roost beef.
Cow Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cow and a rooster?
  • The cow crossed the road for what reason?
    • To get to the moo-seum!
  • Could you tell us what the cow said to the cheese?
    • I am your father.
Cow Jokes - What did the cow say to the cheese?
  • What caused the astronauts to take a box of cereal and a cow with them?
    • In case they bypassed the milky way!
  • If cows could laugh, how would they do it?
    • Moo-haha.
  • What is the cow’s favorite party game?
    • Moo-sical chairs!
  • What’s the best subject for a cow to study at school?
    • Cow-culus.
Cow Jokes - What’s a cow’s best subject in school?

Funny Knock Knock Cow Jokes

Knock Knock jokes are one of the most favorites of kids and even adults!

Browse through these funny knock knock cow jokes and start the giggling moments with family and friends.

  • Knock knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Cow says.
    • Cow says who?
    • No, silly. Cow says MOOOOOOOO.
Cow Jokes - Knock knock. Who’s there? Cow says.
  • Knock, knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Interrupting cow.
    • Interrupting cow, who?
    • MOOOOOO!!!!
  • Knock knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • A cow with no lips.
    • A cow with no lips who?
    • A cow with no lips said ooo ooo.
Cow Jokes - Knock knock. Who's there? A cow with no lips.
  • Knock knock.
    • Who’s there?
    • Cow.
    • Cow who?
    • Cow-a-bunga dude!
  • Know knock.
    • Who’s there.
    • Moo.
    • Moo who?
    • Make up your mind: Are you a cow or an owl?
Cow Jokes - Know knock. Who's there. Moo.
  • Knock, knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Candy.
    • Candy who?
    • Candy cow jump over the moon!
  • Knock, knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Cow.
    • Cow who?
    • Cow much longer are you going to put up with all this knocking?
  • Knock, knock!
    • Who’s there?
    • Cows.
    • Cows who?
    • Cows go ‘moo’ not who!

Hilarious Cow Riddles and Jokes

Let’s deepen our love for the moo-ing mammal.

Start exchanging these lists of puzzling and yet funny cow riddles with your loved ones.

  • When a cow remembers something, what does he say?
    • “I have deja moo!”
Cow Jokes - What does a cow say when he remembers something?
  • What makes cows tell jokes?
    • To amoo-se themselves!
  • What do cows use in WhatsApp messages?
    • Emooojis!
  • How did the farmer locate his lost cow?
    • He tractor down!
  • What are cows called after they have given birth?
    • Decaffeinated.
  • I wonder what did the cow tell to Ariana Grande.
    • You’ve got the mooooooves!
  • Have you heard about the cow that was lost in a tornado?
    • It was an udder disaster!
  • What happens when you speak to a cow?
    • It goes in one ear and out the udder!
Cow Jokes - What happens when you talk to a cow?
  • When a calf gives her mother a bad attitude, what happens?
    • She tans its hide.
  • Why do cows have bells on their necks?
    • Because their horns don’t work.
Cow Jokes - Why do cows have bells?
  • How come bulls can’t do archery?
    • They might hit a bulls-eye.
  • How do cows avoid acting rashly?
    • She takes stock of the situation first.
  • Most cows don’t lie, why not?
    • They can smell bull.
  • What did one dairy cow have to say to the other?
    • Got milk?
  • The cow’s favourite newspaper is…
    • The Daily Moos.
  • My butcher once gave me beef from a female cow.
    • I said, “I believe this is a Miss Steak”.
  • I saw a cow spontaneously catch on fire the other day…
    • Guess you could call it a rare experience.
  • Two cows standing in a paddock, one says “moo”.
    • The other turns to him and says “I was just going to say that”.
  • Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face…
    • How dairy!
Cow Jokes - Just saw a guy punch a cow in the face...
  • When a cow didn’t give her milk, what was it called?
    • An udder failure.
  • A bankrupt cowboy can’t complain why?
    • He got no beef.
  • If you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow, what do you get?
    • A baaaaaaad mooooood.
  • When a cow drinks too much coffee, what do you call her?
    • Over-calfinated.
  • What does a farmer talk about while milking a cow?
    • Udder nonsense.
  • What did the cow tell the other secret agent?
    • “Are you udder cover?”
  • How come cows don’t have any money?
    • Because farmers milk them dry.
  • When a cow laughs, what happens?
    • Milk comes out of its nose.
  • When you put a cow on a trampoline, what do you get?
    • Milkshake.
  • I wonder what the cow said to its therapist.
    • “I feel seen but not herd.”
  • One morning, I had a problem milking my cow.
    • It was an udder failure.
  • What did the cow tell all her friends?
    • I am legen-dairy.
  • Could you tell me what the coach said to the cows?
    • “Now get out there and give me 2%!”
  • How come cows can’t wear shoes?
    • Because they lactose.
  • What do you call a cow that has stopped producing milk?
    • A milk dud.
  • You know what they say about cows…
    • they’re outstanding in their field.
  • What happens when a cow gets caught in an earthquake?
Cow Jokes - What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
  • Were the bulls fortunes lost in the trees where he lost his hard-earned money?
    • At the cow-sino!
  • Crossing a cow with a smurf results in what?
    • Blue Cheese.
  • Teacher: Children, what benefits does a chicken give you?
    • Students: Eggs
    • Teacher: Very good! What would you like to receive from the pig?
    • Kids: Bacon
    • Teacher: Excellent now what does the fat cow give you?
    • Kids: Homework
  • What do you get from a dwarf cow?
    • Condensed milk
  • What makes a cow invisible?
    • Through camooflage.
  • A farmer lost his cow, so how did he find it?
    • He tractor down.
  • The female cow is called what? 
    • A dairy queen.
  • When one cow spys on another cow, what do you call it?
    • A steak out.
  • Why do cows travel to New York?
    • To see the moosicals.
  • What do you have to do to get a cow to stay quiet?
    • Press the moooote button.
  • What do you call a cow that tells jokes?
    • Laughing stock.
  • It is now legal to park bovines with foot coverings in motorcycle parking spaces.
    • They’re officially labeled as Cowasockies.
  • What do you get when you divide the circumference of a bovine by its diameter?
    • A cow pi.
  • A bull and a cow went on their first date. What did they do?
    • Dinner and a moovie.
  • Déjà Moo…
    • the feeling that you’ve heard this Bull before.
  • My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana…
    • The steaks have never been so high!
  • Why did the cow refuse to speak to the other cow?
    • Because they had beef with each other.
  • What did the cow confess to his therapist?
    • “I feel seen but not herd.”
  • In the field, two cows are out grazing…
    • One cow says to the other cow, “Aren’t you concerned about the mad cow disease that’s going around?”
    • The other cow replied, “Would it matter if I had mad cow disease? I am a rabbit!”
  • I have a decent joke about a cow but it’s pretty offensive…
    • so I’ll probably need to take it down [remooooooved].
Cow Jokes - I have a decent joke about a cow but it’s pretty offensive

The Cow Challenge


How do you find our list of hilarious cow jokes? I hope we made your day! Share these cow jokes with your friends, family, or anyone who enjoys a good laugh about our bovine friends!

I can sense that these cow jokes made you laugh-out-loud and you are looking for more! Just relax, we got you. Here are my suggestions for your next read.

Visit Successful Farming to learn about the 16 Common Cattle Breeds throughout the world and their history.

To end this, cows are gentle animals who are affectionate, emotional, intelligent, and funny.

These black and white, sometimes brown, grass-eating beasts that go “moo” around are one of the most favorite animals. Do you know why? Simply because they are the number one source of our favorite dairy products, MILK, MILKSHAKES, ICE CREAM, CHOCOLATES, ETC.!

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About the author

Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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