Wood Puns and Jokes That Are Tree-Mendously Funny

Did you know that from the time of the Ancient Egyptians, trees have been revered as the “lungs of the planet” and that they are a source of oxygen, carbon dioxide, and fuel? 

Let’s take a look at some of the best wood puns and jokes that are both funny and educational in this blog.

Wood is a good material that has been used for thousands of years as a source of building. Today, it is still used on a daily basis in construction, furniture, and many other things. Wood has been used for so long because it is a resilient material that can be used to build strong structures that can last for long periods of time. 

Hilarious Wood Jokes

  • What’s a lumberjack’s favorite playground item?
    • A see-saw.
  • Can you tell me how long you have been chopping wood?
    • Not sure. Let me check the logs.
  • Pigs like what kind of trees?
    • Mahogany
  • When the police searched the lumber yard, how did they find all that wood that was missing?
    • It was chipped.
  • Can you tell me how to carve wood the best way?
    • Whittle by whittle.
  • What tree can you identify by its bark?
    • The dogwood tree.
  • Sports cars made from Italian wood are called what?
    • A Lumberghini.
  • To his tree girlfriend, what did the tree say?
    • I wood do anything for you.
  • If trees saw woodcutters coming to the forest, what would they have done?
    • They would have re-tree-ted.
  • T-Rexes cut wood in what way?
    • With his dino-saw.
  • If your dog gets lost in the woods, how do you find it?
    • Put your ear up to a tree and listen for the bark!
  • Which type of wood is the spookiest?
    • Bam-boo!
  • Is there a reason you can’t cook wood on the stove?
    • Because it’s a non-stick pan.
  • A woodcutter spoke to a tree. What did he say?
    • “May I axe you something?”
  • When the piece of wood had nothing to say, what did it say?
    • I’m board.
  • Is there a reason why a car made of wood has never been successful?
    • Because it wooden go.
  • If a podium eats wood, what do you call it?
    • Hannibal Lecturn.
  • Which dating app is a tree’s favorite?
    • Timber.
  • When a tree has drunk too much, how do you know?
    • It won’t stop trunk texting their ax.
  • Coniferous trees get ready for dates in what way?
    • They spruce themselves up.
  • Which month is the least favorite of trees?
    • Sep-timber!
  • What are the signs that the tree’s business is doing well?
    • It has a lot of branches.
  • How would you describe a stick-domed hut?
    • A twigloo.
  • Which weighs more, a pound of leaves or a pound of logs?
    • They both weigh the same.
  • Why do trees make the worst frenemies?
    • It’s because they throw the best shade!

For more laughs, take a look at these camp jokes, tree jokes  and chess jokes.

Humorous Wood Puns

  • After making so many wood puns I think I better branch off into another topic.
  • Someone went into a bank with a sack full of shredding wood and asked to open a shavings account.
  • Wood fired pizza, so now where is pizza going to get a job?
  • I want to change some of the wood furnishings in my house just to spruce things up.
  • A rose by any other name Wood smell as sweet.
  • All Wood things come to he who waits.
  • If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it…
    • It means my illegal logging business is a success.
  • They asked me how I put the wood together so well.
    • I said, I nailed it.
  • All wood things must come to an end.
  • When the log met the axe, he asked, “Wood you cut this tree out for me please?”
    • to which the axe responded “oak-ey.”
  • All publicity is wood publicity.
  • A wood beginning makes a wood ending.
  • Fast as your legs wood carry you.
  • I can cut a piece of wood by staring at it. It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.
  • Boats carrying wood need to dock in the arbor.
  • When logs are exported to another country they are called depor-trees.
  • As we sat by the riverside, we were so board, we wished something really fun wood come along.
  • He went about chopping all the trees in the garden because he wanted to put up some apartments.
    • He is a perfect example of a son of a birch.
  • I tried to think of carpentry pun that woodwork and I thought I nailed it but nobody saw it. 

Wood is something that is an important part of our lives. It surrounds us. It is in our homes, our offices and our daily lives. Find out what the 10 most interesting facts about trees and wood are here.

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Megha Sharma

Megha is the heart of funnyjokestoday.com - When waking up in the morning, her first thought always is how to create a smile on someone's face before breakfast. Her passion are jokes for the youngest and about animals.

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