Funny Chemistry Jokes: You’ll Never Believe What Happened Next

Did you know that chemistry jokes are the best? I can’t believe it’s not butter! Ha, ha. Chemistry is so fun and there are a lot of great things to joke about.

If you’re a chemistry student or professor, then these jokes will be right up your alley! 

In this blog post, we will share our favorite chemistry jokes with you in hopes that they make your day a little bit brighter.

36 Hilarious Chemistry Jokes

  • In order to impress the chemist, what did the biologist wear?
    • Designer genes!
  • Do chemists like nitrates for some reason?
    • Because they’re cheaper than day rates!
  • When one ion spoke to the other, what did he say?
    • “I’ve got my ion you!”
  • What is the best way to make holy water?
    • You boil the hell out of it!
  • What did one mole tell the other mole?
    • “I’ve got my ion you!”
  • What is the best way to keep a chemist from freezing?
    • You use absolute zero!
  • Water is H2O, hydrogen peroxide is H2O2. What is H2O4?
    • Drinking.
  • The attacking army used acid to protect itself. Why?
    • It is important to neutralize the enemy’s base!
  • Did you hear about the chemist who was reading a book about helium?
    • He could not put the book down.
  • What’s Iron Man’s favorite ride in the amusement park?
    • The ferrous wheel.
  • Which sport was Avogadro’s favorite?
    • Golf! He always got a mole-in-one!
  • A ion chromatography expert once told me: Anions aren’t negative, they were just misunderstood.
  • How do you refer to a clown who’s in jail?
    • A silicon.
  • Did you know that oxygen had a second date with potassium?
    • Did it go well? It went OK2!
  • Why should you drink with neutrons?
    • Wherever they go, there is no charge!!
  • What caused the hipster chemist to burn his hand?
    • He picked up his beaker before it was cool.
  • When a chemist becomes sick, what should you do?
    • If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
  • Hydrogen and carbon went on a date.
    • I heard they really bonded
  • Somebody threw sodium chloride at me.
    • I shouted, “That’s salt!”
  • An optimist sees the glass half full.
    • The pessimist sees the glass half full, but what does the chemist see?
    • Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.
  • We’d give you some more chemistry jokes,
    • but all the great ones argon.
  • H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?
    • H2O cubed.
  • What is the Cole Law?
    • A thinly sliced cabbage.
  • What made the oxygen molecules so excited when he walked out of the singles bar?
    • He managed to get Avogadro’s number.
  • When the scientist found 2 isotopes of helium, he said what?
    • HeHe
  • What do the other elements have to say about hydrogen?
    • He’s such a loner!
  • I find these jokes to be sodium funny.
    • In fact, I punched my neon that one!
  • What was the name of Agent 007’s Eskimo cousin?
    • Polar Bond.
  •  What is the purpose of the chemist’s soles and heels made of silicone rubber?
    • To reduce his carbon footprint.
  • What is H2O4 if H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide?
    • Drinking, bathing, and lots of other daily activities.
  • The most important rule in chemistry?
    • Never lick the spoon!
  • Gold is the best element because it’s AU-some.
  • Which emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?
    • Separation anxiety.
  • Old chemists don’t die, they just stop reacting.
  • Question To The Interviewee: What is nitrate (nite rate or night rate)? 
    • Interviewee: double time.
  • What did one titration tell the other?
    • At the endpoint, let’s meet.
  • Teacher: What is acid+base?
    • Me: Neutralization reaction
    • Teacher: Then why did you write a good party?
  • Hey oil! Do you feel like hanging out?
    • Oil: I shall not be able to mix with you guys.
    • Water: Hydrophobe!
  • Having run out of CHEMISTRY JOKES.
    • I will have to ZINC up with a new one.
  • Scientist: I just boiled water.
    • Me: solid Scientist: No
    • Me: I just mean that’s cool.
    • Scientist: WRONG AGAIN
  • Whenever life gives you MOLD, make PENICILLIN.
  • You should always give your 100%, except if you are donating blood.

The Chemistry of Life Quiz

Author’s Note

We all know that Chemistry can be a tough subject for many people, but these jokes should lighten the mood! Are there any good ones you have heard? Share them below in the comments so we can laugh together.

More Jokes That Will Surely Perk Your Mood: 

Are you still getting a chemistry kick? Check out these 17 Amazing Chemistry Facts that Will Blow Your Mind.

What’s your Reaction?

Leave a comment