Funniest Dog Jokes That Will Make You Laugh ‘Till You Drop

by Eric Russell  |  24 Feb 2021

Hey, dog lovers!

I overheard a kid sharing this joke with his mom, “Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot.” and I can’t help but laugh out loud. 

We love to share this collection of dog jokes that will make you howling with laughter as we do.

Laughable Dog Jokes for Kids

Kids find dogs amusing.

The way they bark, licked a human’s face, and look after a friend is what kids love the most.

So why not share these laughable dog jokes with them? They’ll love it!

  • Why do dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!
Dog Jokes - Why do dogs run in circles?
  • What dog keeps the best time? A watch dog!
  • Guess what I’ll call my house key? My Corg-key!
  • What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodledoo!
Dog Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
  • What do you get when you cross a frog and a dog? A croaker spaniel!
  • Why was the dog sweating so much? She was a hot dog!
  • What did the waiter say to the dog when he brought out her food? Bone appetit!
  • What’s a dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!
  • What’s a dog’s favorite kind of pizza? Pupperoni pizza!
  • What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper? That’s ruffffffff!!
Dog Jokes - What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?
  • Why did the tree think the dog was talking to him? He kept saying “bark, bark, bark!”
  • What do you call a dog that’s been out in the cold? A pupsicle!
  • Which breed of dog is the quietest? A hush puppy!
Dog Jokes - Which breed of dog is the quietest?
  • Which dog breed just LOVES bubble baths? A shampoodle!
  • What’s a dog’s favorite breakfast food? Pooched eggs!
  • Which dog breed is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes? A Chi-ha-ha!
  • What’s a chihuahua’s favorite Christmas carol? Fleas Navidad
  • What does a dog get when she finishes obedience school?  Her pet-degree!
  • What is a dog’s ideal job? Barkeology!
  • What do you call a cold dog? A Chilli Dog.
  • What was the dogs favorite type of homework to do? A lab report.

Hilarious Dog Jokes for Adults

Got a long and tiring day at work?

Why not rest for a bit and browse these hilarious dog jokes that will make you howl.

You’ll feel recharged!

  • What do you get when you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower!
  • I’m not fat. I’m just a little husky.
Dog Jokes - I'm not fat. I'm just a little husky.
  • What do you get when you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee? A greyhound buzz!
  • Which dog breed absolutely LOVES living in the city? A New Yorkie!
  • How do dog catchers get paid? By the pound!
  • Why aren’t dogs good dancers? Because they have two left feet!
  • What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf.
  • What do chemists’ dogs do with their bones? They barium!
  • What do you call a dog with a surround system? A sub-woofer.
  • What did one flea say to the other? Should we walk or take a dog?
  • Why do dogs like conjunctions? They just love buts.
  • Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs? Because you might step in a poodle!
Dog Jokes - Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
  • Why can’t dogs work the DVD remote? Because they always hit the paws button!
  • What’s the difference between a businessman and a hot dog? The businessman wears a suit but the dog just pants.
  • Why did the poor dog chase his tail? He was trying to make both ends meet.
  • What do you get when you cross a dog with a calculator? A best friend you can count on!
  • How are a dog and a marine biologist alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!
  • What do you call a great dog detective? Sherlock Bones!
  • Did you hear about the dog who couldn’t stop talking like a horse? It was a dog and pony show.
  • If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course… at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!
  • How do fleas travel from place to place? By itch-hiking!
Dog Jokes - How do fleas travel from place to place?
  • Why did the dog need help on his Pros and Cons chart? He was CON-fused!
  • What kinds of stores do dogs love the most? Re-tail stores!
  • What do you call a large dog that meditates? Aware wolf.
  • What did the hungry Dalmatian say after his meal? “That hit the spots!”
  • What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog? Dingo Starr!
  • What type of market should you NEVER take your dog? A flea market!
Dog Jokes - What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
  • How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a monster? Terrier-fied!
  • What do you do if a dog chews your dictionary? Take the words right out of his mouth!
  • What did the dog say to the flea? Quit bugging me!
  • Why did the Dalmatian go to the eye doctor? He kept seeing spots!

Cheesy Pickup Lines for You and Your Dog

Are you looking for ways on how to catch your crush’s attention, who is a dog lover? These pick up lines will be useful for you.

We love to share this collection of dog jokes that will make you howling with laughter as we do.

  • It was love at first sniff.
Dog Jokes - It was love at first sniff.
  • I came here looking for a… little tail.
  • You had me at ruff.
  • I don’t bite you know… unless it’s called for.
  • Can I get you a tennis ball?
  • How about we ditch these leashes and go for a run?
Dog Jokes - How about we ditch these leashes and go for a run?
  • I’m looking for a no-strings-attached cuddle buddy.
  • Sniff my butt. It’s the quickest way to my heart.
  • There’s not a crate strong enough in the world to keep me from you.
  • Hey girl, you’re one fine-lookin’ mother pupper.
Dog Jokes - Hey girl, you’re one fine-lookin’ mother pupper.
  • You make me want to be a more obedient dog.
  • Is your tail always wagging, or are you just happy to see me?
  • Roll over. I’ll scratch your belly.
  • I smelled you down the street, and my nose brought me right to you.
  • I’ve crossed all the dog parks in the world to find you.
  • If peeing on me makes you happy, consider it my Valentine’s gift to you.
  • Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey because I’m a dog.

Fun Collection of Dog Riddles

Feel free to browse and share this collection of funny riddles for dog lovers of all ages.

This can be one of the best bonding moments with your kids too!

  • The dog chased the cat, which ran up a tree. It waited at the bottom. Which waited at the bottom? The dog.
Dog Jokes - You have two dogs. How can you give one away, yet keep both?
  • Why did the dog go down the rapids? Because he likes ruff water.
  • My Dog had 7 Puppies. Their names were: All, Ball, Tall, Fall, Hall, Call, Wall. What is the mother’s name? Her name is ‘What’… as the puzzle says ‘what’ is the name of the mother.
  • You have two dogs. How can you give one away, yet keep both? Give one away and rename the last dog ‘both’.
Dog Jokes - You have two dogs. How can you give one away, yet keep both?
  • How does a dog stop a cd player? It pushes “paws”.
  • What is the difference between a football player and a dog? A football player has a whole uniform, but a dog only pants.
  • Why don’t Dalmatians like to take baths? They don’t like to be spotless.
  • How do you keep a dog from barking in the backseat of the car? Put him in the front seat of the car.
  • How do dogs say good-bye? “Bone-voyage!”
  • Who delivers presents to dogs? Santa Paws
  • What does the cowboy say when his dog leaves? Doggone!
  • I may be your best friend, but I depend on you. In the brink of danger, it is you I will defend. What am I? A dog.
  • What do dogs say when they see a wolf? Woolf! Woolf!
  • What do you call a dog that’s ready for spring break? Pug boat
  • When is a black dog not a black dog? When it’s a grey-hound!
  • Did you hear about the dog that gave birth to puppies at the side of the road? She got a ticket for littering!
  • What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window? Two dogs barking outside your window!
  • Where do Eskimos train their dogs? In the mush-room!
  • I’m fat and I’m round and I cause much joy, I’m often a dog’s favorite toy. What am I? A ball.
  • What do you get if you cross a dog and an airplane? A jet setter!
Dog Jokes - What do you get if you cross a dog and an airplane?
  • What do you call a dog that is left handed? A south paw!

Dogs, every man’s best friend, are the sweetest and most loyal! They provide us with so much love, companionship and they are always there when we need them either we are happy or sad.

Let’s continue loving and taking care of our four-legged best friends.

What’s next after Dogs? The ultimate best enemy – Cats!!!! I recommend you to check our Cat Jokes. Save for the next read is the Dinosaur Jokes, the most favorite characters in most movies today. You’ll love them both! 

Trivia: There are more than 150 dog breeds, divided into 8 classes: sporting, hound, working, terrier, toy, non-sporting, herding, and miscellaneous. Learn more about interesting facts about dogs.

Do you still have funny dog jokes in mind? Prove your love for your dog and share your entry in the comments box! Don’t forget to share these jokes in your next bonding moments with your family and friends.

About the author 

Eric Russell

Eric finished his degree in primary education. He is into geeky male joke topics.His favourites are Star Wars and Chuck Norris.


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