Funniest Dog Jokes That Will Make You Laugh ‘Till You Drop

Hey, dog lovers!

I overheard a kid sharing this joke with his mom, “Why did the dog cross the road? To get to the barking lot.” and I can’t help but laugh out loud. 

We love to share this collection of dog jokes that will make you howling with laughter as we do.

Laughable Dog Jokes for Kids

Kids find dogs amusing.

The way they bark, licked a human’s face, and look after a friend is what kids love the most.

So why not share these laughable dog jokes with them? They’ll love it!

  • Can you tell me why dogs run in circles? Because it’s hard to run in squares!
Dog Jokes - Why do dogs run in circles?
  • Which dog keeps the best time? A watch dog!
  • You know what I’ll call the key to my house? My Corg-key!
  • If you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster, what do you get? A cockerpoodledoo!
Dog Jokes - What do you get when you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
  • What do you get when you cross a dog with a frog? A croaker spaniel!
  • Were you wondering why the dog was sweating so much? She was a hot dog!
  • What did the waiter tell the dog when he brought her food? Bone appetit!
  • What is the dog’s favorite dessert? Pupcakes!
  • Is there a type of pizza that a dog prefers? Pupperoni pizza!
  • When the dog sat on some sandpaper, what did he say? That’s ruffffffff!!
Dog Jokes - What did the dog say when he sat on some sandpaper?
  • The dog thought the tree was talking to him why? “Bark, bark, bark!” he kept screaming.
  • A dog left out in the cold is called… A pupsicle!
  • When it comes to dogs, what breeds of dog are the quietest? A hush puppies!
Dog Jokes - Which breed of dog is the quietest?
  • What breed of dog just LOVES bubble baths? A shampoodle!
  • What’s your dog’s favorite food for breakfast? Pooched eggs!
  • What breed of dog is guaranteed to laugh at all of your jokes? A Chi-ha-ha!
  • Can you guess what chihuahua’s favorite Christmas carol is? Fleas Navidad
  • Do dogs get anything when they finish obedience school? Her pet-degree!
  • What is the ideal job for a dog? Barkeology!
  • Cold dogs are called what? A Chilli Dogs.
  • Can you tell me what kind of homework the dogs liked to do? A lab report.

Hilarious Dog Jokes for Adults

Got a long and tiring day at work?

Why not rest for a bit and browse these hilarious dog jokes that will make you howl.

You’ll feel recharged!

  • If you cross a sheepdog with a rose, what will you get? A collie-flower!
  • No, I’m not fat. It’s just that I’m a little husky.
Dog Jokes - I'm not fat. I'm just a little husky.
  • When you cross a racing dog with a bumblebee, what do you get? A greyhound buzz!
  • Can you tell me which breed of dog absolutely loves city life? A New Yorkie!
  • How do dog catchers get paid? By the pound!
  • Why are dogs such bad dancers? Because they have two left feet!
  • A large dog that meditates is called what? Aware wolf.
  • How do chemist’s dogs get rid of their bones? They barium!
  • How do you refer to a dog that is surrounded by a surround system? A sub-woofer.
  • Did one flea say anything to the other? Should we walk or take a dog?
  • What are the reasons dogs like conjunctions? They just love buts.
  • Why should you be cautious when it rains cats and dogs? Because you might step in a poodle!
Dog Jokes - Why should you be careful when it rains cats and dogs?
  • Why can’t dogs use the DVD remote control? Because they always use the paws button!
  • What’s the difference between a hot dog and a businessman? The businessman wears a suit while the dog just wears pants.
  • Why would the poor dog chase after his tail? He was trying to make both ends meet.
  • If you cross a dog with a calculator, what do you get? A best friend you can count on!
  • Dogs and marine biologists – what are they alike? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale!
  • How do you refer to a great dog detective? Sherlock Bones!
  • Have you heard about the dog who kept talking like it was a horse? It was a dog and pony show.
  • Your dog barks at the back door and your spouse yells at the front door. Who would you let in first? It would be the dog, of course… he’d shut up after you let him in!
  • How do fleas get from one place to another? By itch-hiking!
Dog Jokes - How do fleas travel from place to place?
  • Why did the dog need assistance creating his Pros and Cons chart? He was CON-fused!
  • Which types of stores do dogs prefer the most? Re-tail stores!
  • The hungry Dalmatian said what after his meal? “That hit the spots!”
  • If you cross the Beatles with an Australian dog, what will you get? Dingo Starr!
  • What kind of market should you NEVER take your dog to? A flea market!
Dog Jokes - What type of market should you NEVER take your dog?
  • When the Scottish dog saw a monster for the first time, what did he feel? Terrier-fied!
  • What do you do if your dictionary is chewed by a dog? Take the words right out of his mouth!
  • Could you tell me what the dog said to the flea? Quit bugging me!
  • The Dalmatian went to the eye doctor for what reason? He kept seeing spots!

Cheesy Pickup Lines for You and Your Dog

Are you looking for ways on how to catch your crush’s attention, who is a dog lover? These pick up lines will be useful for you.

We love to share this collection of dog jokes that will make you howling with laughter as we do.

  • I fell in love at first sniff.
Dog Jokes - It was love at first sniff.
  • My intention was to look for a… little tail.
  • You got me at ruff.
  • I don’t bite, you know… unless it’s necessary. 
  • Will you mind if I bring you a tennis ball?  
  • Why don’t we get rid of these leashes and go for a run?  
Dog Jokes - How about we ditch these leashes and go for a run?
  • I’m looking for a no-strings-attached cuddle buddy.
  • If you sniff my butt, you’ll be in my heart in no time.
  • No crate in the world could keep me away from you.
  • That’s a great-looking mother pup you’ve got there, girl.
Dog Jokes - Hey girl, you’re one fine-lookin’ mother pupper.
  • You make me wanna be a better dog.
  • Would you tend to wag your tail all of the time, or are you just happy to see me? 
  • Please roll over. I will scratch your belly.
  • As soon as I smelt you down the road, my nose took me straight to you.
  • I’ve searched every dog park in the world to find you.
  • If peeing on me makes you happy, consider that my Valentine’s gift to you.
  • Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey because I am a dog.

Fun Collection of Dog Riddles

Feel free to browse and share this collection of funny riddles for dog lovers of all ages.

This can be one of the best bonding moments with your kids too!

  • A dog chased a cat, which climbed a tree and waited at its base. Who waited at its base? The dog.
Dog Jokes - You have two dogs. How can you give one away, yet keep both?
  • What made the dog go down the rapids? Because he likes ruff water.
  • My dog had seven puppies. Their names were All, Ball, Tall, Fall, Hall, Call, and Wall. What is the mother’s name? Her name is ‘What’… as the puzzle says ‘what’ is the name of the mother.
  • You have two dogs. How can you give one away while keeping both? Give one away and rename the last dog ‘both’.
Dog Jokes - You have two dogs. How can you give one away, yet keep both?
  • How can a dog end a CD player? It pushes “paws”.
  • In your opinion, what is the difference between a football player and a dog? A football player has a whole uniform, but a dog only pants.
  • How come Dalmatians don’t like to take baths? They don’t like to be spotless.
  • Is there a way you can stop a dog from barking while in the back seat of the car? Put him in the front seat of the car.
  • How do dogs say good-bye? “Bone-voyage!”
  • Who gives presents to dogs? Santa Paws
  • When his dog leaves, what does the cowboy say? Doggone!
  • Although I am your best friend, I depend on you. On the brink of danger, I will defend you. What am I? A dog.
  • A dog sees a wolf, what does he say? Woolf! Woolf!
  • How do you refer to a dog that is ready for spring break? Pug boat
  • What is a black dog and when is it not black? When it’s a grey-hound!
  • Have you heard about the dog that gave birth to puppies along a highway? She got a ticket for littering!
  • Is there anything more annoying than a dog barking outside your window? Two dogs barking outside your window!
  • In what places do Eskimos train their dogs? In the mush-room!
  • I’m round and fat, often dogs’ favorite toy, and I cause great joy. What am I? A ball.
  • You get what when you cross a dog with an airplane? A jet setter!
Dog Jokes - What do you get if you cross a dog and an airplane?
  • Left handed dogs are referred to as what? A south paw!

Dogs, every man’s best friend, are the sweetest and most loyal! They provide us with so much love, companionship and they are always there when we need them either we are happy or sad.

Let’s continue loving and taking care of our four-legged best friends.

What’s next after Dogs? The ultimate best enemy – Cats!!!! I recommend you to check our Cat Jokes. Save for the next read is the Dinosaur Jokes, the most favorite characters in most movies today. You’ll love them both! 

Trivia: There are more than 150 dog breeds, divided into 8 classes: sporting, hound, working, terrier, toy, non-sporting, herding, and miscellaneous. Learn more about interesting facts about dogs.

Do you still have funny dog jokes in mind? Prove your love for your dog and share your entry in the comments box! Don’t forget to share these jokes in your next bonding moments with your family and friends.

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