The Top Mustache Jokes for Beard Enthusiasts

Mustaches have been a popular topic of jokes for decades. With their unique shapes and styles, they make for the perfect punchline. 

Whether it’s a handlebar, a walrus, or a pencil-thin, there’s always something funny about a mustache. From silly puns to witty one-liners, we’ve got it all. So sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle at some of the best mustache jokes around.

We know that humor is subjective, but we’re confident these jokes will have something for everyone. So, without further ado, let’s dive into the world of mustache humor!

Laugh your brows off with these eyebrow jokes.

Funny Mustache Jokes

  • Is there a reason why the hipster burned his tongue?
    • He drank his coffee before it was mustache temperature!
  • How do you describe a fake mustache?
    • A faux-stache!
  • What caused the tomato to turn red?
    • Because it saw the salad dressing’s mustache!
  • What made the mustache refuse to go on a date?
    • Because it didn’t want to get mustache-d!
  • What is the best way to teach a mustache to ride a bike?
    • You give it a handlebar!
  • When a mustache is in charge, what do you call it?
    • A mustache-tache!
  • What made the mustache join the army?
    • To maintain its stache-tus!
  • Can you tell me what the mustache said to the beard?
    • You need to mustache your own business!
  • Do you know what you call a mustache that looks for trouble all the time?
    • A mis-stache!
  • What is the best way to make a mustache laugh?
    • Just tickle its hairs!
  • Is there a reason why the mustache crossed the road?
    • To get to the other lip!
  • How do you describe a fake mustache?
    • A lip toupee!
  • What do you get when you cross a mustache with a mullet?
    • Business in the front, party on the lip!
  • What is the secret to making a mustache laugh?
    • With a razor-sharp wit!
  • Is there a reason why the hipster shaved his mustache?
    • He wanted to grow a beard before it was cool!
  • When a mustache goes to space, what do you call it?
    • An astro-tache!
  • What was the purpose of the mustache attending the party?
    • To see if it could whisker away!
  • When you cross a mustache with a pirate, what do you get?
    • Arrrrch-nemesis!
  • Can you tell me how a mustache keeps itself clean?
    • With a lot of must-wash!
  • What caused the mustache to fail the test?
    • It didn’t make the grade!
  • Is there a reason why the hipster burned his tongue?
    • He drank his coffee before it was cool.
  • When you cross a mustache with a food processor, what do you get?
    • A must-tache!
  • What caused the mustache to fail its driving test?
    • It couldn’t make a good turn without signaling.
  • How did the mustache get arrested?
    • It was caught loitering around the upper lip.
  • When a mustache is afraid of getting wet, what do you call it?
    • A dry-stache!
  • Is there a reason why mustaches don’t make good detectives?
    • They always focus on the upper lip.
  • Can you tell me what the mustache said to the beard?
    • “I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.”
  • Is there a reason why animals don’t have mustaches?
    • They don’t need to look more handsome!
  • At the party, what did the mustache say to the other mustache?
    • “Hey, nice to see you upper lip to upper lip!”
  • What made the man with the mustache buy a car?
    • He wanted to get a-handlebar!
  • When a clock has a mustache, what do you call it?
    • A tickler!
  • What caused the hipster’s tongue to burn on his coffee?
    • He drank it before it was cool!
  • When you cross a mustache with a smile, what do you get?
    • A cheerful lip sweater!
  • What makes mustaches bad detectives?
    • They always get caught in the five o’clock shadow!
  • Can you tell me what the mustache said to the razor?
    • You’re really cutting me close!
  • What makes people with mustaches like to ride motorcycles?
    • It’s a chance to show off their handlebars!
  • What is the difference between a train and a mustache?
    • One runs on tracks and the other on top lips!

Author’s Note

Well, folks, we’ve come to the end of our journey through the world of funny mustache jokes. We hope you’ve had as much fun reading them as we did!

The next time you see someone with a mustache, don’t be afraid to crack a joke or two. Just remember to keep it light-hearted and respectful. After all, a good sense of humor is always in style, just like a well-groomed mustache. Learn how to shave your mustache like a pro.

Thanks for joining us on this mustache-filled adventure. Until next time, keep laughing and growing those ‘staches!

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