Funniest Birthday Jokes: The best Gag Gifts You Could Give

How do you celebrate a birthday? With cake, presents and laughter! Whether it’s your own or someone else’s, there are plenty of ways to make the day memorable. One way is with a good joke. It doesn’t have to be funny; in fact, some people might find it funnier if they’re not laughing at all.

Be ready to share these 35 birthday jokes that we think would make any birthday extra hilarious!

Favorite  Birthday Jokes Of All Time

  • What was the reason for the birthday cake going to the doctor?
    • Because it was feeling a little crumby!
  • Can you tell me what one candle said to the other candle?
    • “Don’t birthdays just burn you up?”
  • Is there a reason the birthday boy/girl brought a ladder to the party?
    • Because they wanted to go to new heights this year!
  • What are the signs that you are getting old?
    • When the candles cost more than the cake.
  • On your birthday, what do you always get?
    • Another year older and wiser? Nah, just a year older!
  • What kind of birthday cake do ghosts like?
    • I Scream Cake.
  • On a penguin’s birthday, what do they sing?
    • Freeze a jolly good fellow!
  • What is the purpose of placing candles on birthday cakes?
    • It’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
  • What goes up but never comes down?
    • Your Age.
    • When they throw birthday parties in heaven, what do they serve?
      Of course, Angel food cake!
  • Doctor, doctor—why do I have heartburn whenever I eat birthday cake?
    • You might want to try taking the candles out.
  • Did you hear about the birthday of the tree?
    • It was a sappy one!
  • What did the mother tiger say to her cub on his birthday?
    • It’s roar birthday! 
  • What did a candle say to another?
    • “Do birthdays just burn you up?”
  • What has wings, a long tail, and wears a bow?
    • A birthday pheasant!
  • What is it about birthdays that makes kangaroos unhappy?
    • They can only celebrate them in leap years!
  • What was the purpose of those balloons in the bathroom?
    • We had a birthday potty!
  • What do clams like to do for their birthdays?
    • Shell-ebrate.
  • Where can you find a birthday present for a cat?
    • In a cat-alogue!
  • What do you always get for your birthday?
    • A year older.
  • What did the birthday card say to the stamp?
    • Stick with me, this is heading in the right direction!
  • How come candles enjoy birthdays so much?
    • All they wanna do is get lit!
  • Girlfriend: How come you didn’t get me a present for my birthday?
    • Boyfriend: Well, you did tell me I should surprise you.

This collection of science, biology and chemistry jokes is sure to thrill every science-lover.

Funny Birthday Puns Worth Sharing

  • You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
  • Forget about the past, you can’t change it.
    • Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I don’t have one. 
  • You don’t have to be upset about your birthday.
    • Just remember, you’re one year closer to getting the senior citizen discount!
  • You should take care
    • too many birthdays can kill you!
  • When you know that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
  • On my birthday…
    • I always feel warm because people don’t stop toasting me.
  • The reason birthday candles don’t exercise is because they burn out quickly!
  • Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us we deserve more cake.
  • At middle age…
    • a nap is “happy hour.”
  • Age can be relative.
    • All my relatives are constantly reminding me of how old I am.
  • Hello, eyelashes, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles:
    • You must do your job.
  • As a matter of record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
  • My birthday is coming up and reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar:
    • Yung No Mo.
  • You’re turning a year older today, so you should congratulate yourself —
    • particularly if you’re still young enough to have remember it.
  • Statistics show that people with the most birthdays live longer.
  • At the newborn stage I was so surprised that I was unable to speak for a full year and a half. 
  • As you get older…
    • birthdays seem like a reverse countdown.
  • I was confined to my mother’s body for nine long months.
    • But after a long wait, I was finally born.

The Birthday Trivia Challenge

Author’s Note

Birthdays are a time of celebration, and for most people it is also an opportunity to have some fun. No matter who said it first, there is no greater gift than laughter. Whether you are looking for a gag gift to give someone for their birthday or want to get them laughing, these jokes will do the trick! 

Do you have any other good birthday jokes that we missed? Feel free to share it in the comments below.

Take a look at Pinterest for fabulous party ideas for him or her, and thoughtful gift ideas they’re sure to love!

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