59 of Our Funniest Jokes for 2020

by Eric Russell  |  19 Jan 2021

Here are some of our funniest silly jokes everyone will love and even the most serious people can’t help but laugh at them. At the very least, you’ll crack a great big smile! Enjoy!

1. What do you call a door to door bicycle salesman?

A Peddler!

2. What dies a cyclist ride in winter?

An icicle!

3. How did the barber win the bike race?

He took a short cut!

4. Why did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?

Because he didn’t want to sleep walk!

5. Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles?

They tend to lose their balance!

6. What do you call an artist who sculpts with bicycle parts?

Cycleangelo!

7. What does a biologist wear on a first date?

Designer genes!

8. What do zombies have for school lunches?

Human beans, fried legs and eyes cream.

9. Why do fish swim in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze.

10. What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?

A collie-flower!

11. What kind of music is scary for balloons?

Pop music!

12. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A Carrot!

13. Why is there a gate around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

14. Why are frogs so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them!

15. What do you call a dog with no legs?

It doesn’t matter what you call him, he isn’t coming.

16. What do you call when you trip on a bra?

A Booby Trap!

17. I’m not always late for work…

but when I am, I make up for it by leaving early.

18. Where do they get the seeds…

to plan seedless watermelons??

19. What if March really has 32 days

and April 1st is just a prank?

20. When her teacher said to write an essay, she brought in a sheet of paper saying…

“An Essay.”

21. They tell me to get in shape.

Round is a shape!

22. Barista: How do you take your coffee?

Me: Very, very seriously.

23. Why did the corrupt calendar go to prison?

Monday laundering!

24. What’s the saddest part of the week?

Monday mourning!

25. I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places…

She told me to stop going to those places!

26. Why are computers so smart?

Because they listen to their motherboards!

27. What do you call smart cheese?

Sharp cheddar!

28. Why did the pepperoni want to be a salami?

It was being treated like a pizza meat.

29. What do you call someone with a nose but no body?

Nobody know.

30. I married Miss Right.

I just didn’t know her first name was ALWAYS!

31. Have you seen the movie “Constipated”?

Don’t worry, it hasn’t come out yet.

32. How do I make impatient people angry?

Tell you tomorrow…

33. Corduroy Pillows

They’re making headlines.

34. To the thief who stole my pillow…

I will not rest until I find you.

35. Why did Adele cross the road?

To say hello from the other side.

36. What type of bee can’t make up its mind?

A maybe.

37. How do oceans say goodbye?

They wave.

38. Why are fish so smart?

Because they swim in school.

39. What do you call a tired pea?

Sleep-pea!

40. Why was Cinderella kicked off the softball team?

Because she ran from the ball.

41. Why was the cook arrested?

He was caught beating an egg.

42. What did the letter say to the stamp?

“Stick with me and you’ll go places.”

43. What did the evil chicken lay?

Deviled Eggs!

44. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?

Because she will Let it go.

45. What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-oh acid!

46. Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey combs.

47. Knock, knock. Who is there? Broken Pencil. Broken Pencil who?

Nevermind, it’s pointless!

48. Why did the newspaper talk to the ice cream?

It was looking for the scoop!

49. What’s the difference between a bad pizza joke and a good one?

The delivery!

50. Why was the bed wearing a disguise?

Because it was under cover.

51. What did the pepperoni say to the chef?

You wanna pizza me?!

52. Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy!

53. What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered.

54. Did you hear about the teacher who was cross-eyed?

She couldn’t control his pupils.

55. Where do crayons go on holiday?

Color-ado

56. Do you want to hear a bad cat joke?

Just kitten!

57. Why did the ninja spend the day in bed?

He had kung-flu!

58. What did Mrs. Earthworm say to her daughter when she came home late?

Where on earth have you been?

59. Can February march?

No, but April may!

What are your thoughts about these Jokes? Do you have any crazy jokes that we can still add on? We love to add it so go ahead and fire away, there are no wrong jokes! 

About the author 

Eric Russell


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